Don't you just love em
We had an unplanned one this morning - every time , every single bloody time it is just chaos
I work in a large building of over 20 floors. The alarm goes off. Everyone looks around confused , have to double check it is not Monday and 9.30 , which is when we have our weekly test.
Having established that it is in fact Tuesday (this has by now taken over 3 minutes) we then start the preparing to go outside routine.
This consists of the task of collecting your coat, retrieving your bag - ohh where did I put my mobile and for those that smoke you can witness the desperate grabbing of the packet as they suddenly realise they will have a window of opportunity ahead.
Once you think you have everything you then start to head in the direction of the staircase - oh no - hold on I forgot my pass. Can't get back in the building without. So return to desk, ferret out papers, find discarded pass. Whilst back at desk look around to see if there is anything else you need. Satisfied you finally have everything walk once more towards the staircase.
By this time a non too orderly queue has formed to go down the stairs, joined by occupants of all the other floors. The slow shuffle begins. You then see people you haven't seen in ages "Hi, how's you " and so the staircase conversations begin. By the time you have reached the ground floor you know that they had to have an epidural for the birth of their second son and the scarring hasn't gone yet
.
Head towards the light and filter out into the cold. Look around casually wondering where you should go to next and follow the cattle in the general direction of where they are going. This seems to be towards Costa Coffee and the queue is now forming around the block.
Stand around in groups on the street blocking the pavements and causing tourists to stop, thinking there is something worth seeing
Once they have moved on, a class of school children head our way. They try and find their way through.Note the panic on teachers faces as they have not been trained in crowd control desperately trying to regroup their little fledgings they tut and push their way past .
There begins 30 minutes of waiting outside the building or trying to get a seat in a local coffee shop. When finally someone in a hi vis jacket outside the building , waves his arms ( the universal sign of everything being safe for you to return ), the cattle start shuffling back.
No one wanting to walk up x number of flights of stairs though - so the queues for the lifts now take shape. 20 minutes just to be able to get in a lift. Those that do opt for the staircase back up route, look like they need oxygen and a defibrillator when they return to their desk.
God help us if at any time it's a real one
