Right. Mrs Nick announces she has to be in work REALLY REALLY early. Has to be there by 7. She leaves at 7.20.

I proceed in an orderly fashion: coffee, fag, make Boy's breakfast, ensure his saxophone and dinner money are ready.
Have shower. Make sure Boy's uniform is ready.

8.25. Boy appears unto me nekkid.

Can you get dressed?
I have to go to school dressed as an Australian

Wot?
An Australian
What would that involve?
Surfing stuff

Any other ideas?
Shorts?
And?
Um.....t-shirt?
Shorts are located.
I don't really feel like wearing shorts though

He has gone in shorts and a T shirt bearing the legend 'My Dad is stronger than your Dad'
Quite what the school expects in the way of Australianness is beyond me