Right, I propose :
1/ That all boozers should wear a mask whilst in the pub. (bagsy me the Gordon Brown mask)
2/ Anybody who sneezes into a bar towel is barred.
3/ I will cough in the face of any bastard that knocks on my door and tries to convince me to switch electricity suppliers while I am trying to post shite on here. Which someone just did.
4/ That everybody buys a bag of peanuts so that I can see the breasts of that woman on that card thing.
More emergency measures may follow.