Expense Claims...

[Barman]

Bid to dissolve Parliament amid row

Dissolving Parliament could be the only way to rescue MPs' reputation amid growing public fury over the Westminster expenses gravy train, Gordon Brown has been warned.

With yet more senior politicians embroiled in the latest tranche of claims revelations, former Commons deputy Speaker Lord Naseby said an early general election was needed to save the "foundations of democracy".

The call came as the House authorities mounted a desperate rear-guard action to shore up trust in the allowances regime.

An independent audit unit is to be created - at a cost of £600,000 a year - to monitor claims.

Meanwhile, some "clean" MPs started venting their anger at colleagues for bringing the scandal upon them.

Lib Dem frontbencher Lynne Featherstone said she was "ashamed of my brethren", insisting they were getting "due punishment".

"You can or should be able, whatever your circumstances, be able to judge right from wrong," she told Sky News.

Labour backbencher Kate Hoey laid into millionaire tourism minister Barbara Follett for spending £25,000 on security patrols outside her Soho home.

"I would need to have someone really convince me that an MP can claim that amount of money for personal security, when I know that in my constituency I have women who walk home late at night who would love to have somebody paying for them to have personal security," she told BBC Radio 5 Live.

Source

Hang all of them... 

[Miss Demeanour]

A major alert and full-scale security operation was launched today after traces of morals were found in Westminster. Police were called and roads surrounding both No 10 and the Houses of Parliament were blocked off in what is believed to be one of the most serious incidents in recent history. However after 2 hours of going through  MP expense claims, the police forensic team concluded that it was a false alarm.

Detective Chief Inspector Richard Turpin of the Metropolitan Police says that it was all an elaborate hoax. "Whoever did this was a seasoned liar, an expert at deceiving people and very, very slippery. He or she has probably been a politician for many years."

Business Secretary Peter Mandelson gave this warning: "People like this are troublemakers. Neither they nor their morals have any place in a modern government.

It has now become pointless in revealing who has scammed what ( even if it is within the friggin rules) . All it shows is the widespread level of abuse that this ridiculous system has permitted for many many years and the inherent culture of greed that exists throughout 

[Barman]

A major alert and full-scale security operation was launched today after traces of morals were found in Westminster. Police were called and roads surrounding both No 10 and the Houses of Parliament were blocked off in what is believed to be one of the most serious incidents in recent history. However after 2 hours of going through  MP expense claims, the police forensic team concluded that it was a false alarm.

Detective Chief Inspector Richard Turpin of the Metropolitan Police says that it was all an elaborate hoax. "Whoever did this was a seasoned liar, an expert at deceiving people and very, very slippery. He or she has probably been a politician for many years."

Business Secretary Peter Mandelson gave this warning: "People like this are troublemakers. Neither they nor their morals have any place in a modern government.

It has now become pointless in revealing who has scammed what ( even if it is within the friggin rules) . All it shows is the widespread level of abuse that this ridiculous system has permitted for many many years and the inherent culture of greed that exists throughout 

Indeed... Vote Libertarian Miss D.... 

[Nick]

When are they going to get Balls and Cooper? Those two must be sweating! 

[Uncle Mort]

Not as much as this chap:

Immigration minister Phil Woolas has threatened legal action over "disgusting" allegations he claimed for women's clothing, nappies and comics.

[Grumpmeister]

Not as much as this chap:

Immigration minister Phil Woolas has threatened legal action over "disgusting" allegations he claimed for women's clothing, nappies and comics.

I can't wait to see what cartoonists are going to make of that.

[Snoopy]

Mr Woolas wants to get his facts right before he opens his mouth. He submitted a receipt or series of receipts as proof of his expense claims, some items on those receipts were claimable and some were not. No-one, to my knowledge, has said that he actually claimed for every item only that he failed to cross out the non qualifying items. Thus far we have not been told what was actually paid out and what was "disallowed" but given the apparent state of the checking system in the "Fees Office" it is a fair bet that some non-qualifying items will have slipped through UNLESS they had been clearly crossed out by the claimant. I, for one, hope that Woolas takes it to court and only then will we know anything approaching the full truth.

Meanwhile I stick to my original thoughts on the matter, that the "system" would never have been allowed in the commercial world, that MPs have written it for themselves and slowly, over a period of years, become aware what they could get away and have taken full advantage of it ~ I confess also that I am enjoying the "revelations" enormously.

[Darwins Selection]

Not as much as this chap:

Immigration minister Phil Woolas has threatened legal action over "disgusting" allegations he claimed for women's clothing, nappies and comics.

I can't wait to see what cartoonists are going to make of that.

I expect the nappies will be a perfectly justifiable claim for MPs this week.

[Grumpmeister]

Wonder if anyone has put together a petition on the No. 10 website for MP's stating that MP's who have been on the make have to pay back the money they have scammed...

[Miss Demeanour]

Or taken off their pensions 

[TG]

Oh what a surprise:

"The Telegraph also has details of the expenses of Keith Vaz, a former minister who now chairs the home affairs select committee.
Mr Vaz reportedly claimed £75,000 for a Westminster flat although his family's home is 12 miles away in Stanmore."

The utter, utter bastard. 

[Snoopy]

What did you expect?

The only surprise is that everyone is surprised.

[Barman]

Oh what a surprise:

"The Telegraph also has details of the expenses of Keith Vaz, a former minister who now chairs the home affairs select committee.
Mr Vaz reportedly claimed £75,000 for a Westminster flat although his family's home is 12 miles away in Stanmore."

The utter, utter bastard. 

Talking of utter, utter bastards!  

£100,000 home makeover for man in charge of MPs' expenses

Westminster authorities spent £100,000 on a lavish redecoration of the grace-and-favour house for the officer who oversees MPs’ expenses, The Times has discovered.

The property at 3 Parliament Street used by the Clerk, the Commons chief executive, received a top-of-the range makeover, with a £39,000 kitchen, bespoke furniture, including a “butler’s tray”, and granite work surfaces. The same inventory also lists two Ionic columns costing £963.

Source

Thirty-nine thousand Pounds for a fucking kitchen!  

[Snoopy]

Oh what a surprise:

"The Telegraph also has details of the expenses of Keith Vaz, a former minister who now chairs the home affairs select committee.
Mr Vaz reportedly claimed £75,000 for a Westminster flat although his family's home is 12 miles away in Stanmore."

The utter, utter bastard. 

Talking of utter, utter bastards!  

£100,000 home makeover for man in charge of MPs' expenses

Westminster authorities spent £100,000 on a lavish redecoration of the grace-and-favour house for the officer who oversees MPs’ expenses, The Times has discovered.

The property at 3 Parliament Street used by the Clerk, the Commons chief executive, received a top-of-the range makeover, with a £39,000 kitchen, bespoke furniture, including a “butler’s tray”, and granite work surfaces. The same inventory also lists two Ionic columns costing £963.

Source

Thirty-nine thousand Pounds for a fucking kitchen!  

If it helps your blood pressure he is a known shirtlifter who has three other homes that he shares with his boyfriend. One in South Africa, One in Portugal and One in Islington ~ These are in addition to the Grace and Favour property that the expenses refer to. He writes books (8 so far) and has worked for Parliament since joining the Commons Clerk's Department in 1967 when he left university ~ How the hell did he acquire that sort of money on Civil Service pay?

[Barman]

Oh what a surprise:

"The Telegraph also has details of the expenses of Keith Vaz, a former minister who now chairs the home affairs select committee.
Mr Vaz reportedly claimed £75,000 for a Westminster flat although his family's home is 12 miles away in Stanmore."

The utter, utter bastard. 

Talking of utter, utter bastards!  

£100,000 home makeover for man in charge of MPs' expenses

Westminster authorities spent £100,000 on a lavish redecoration of the grace-and-favour house for the officer who oversees MPs’ expenses, The Times has discovered.

The property at 3 Parliament Street used by the Clerk, the Commons chief executive, received a top-of-the range makeover, with a £39,000 kitchen, bespoke furniture, including a “butler’s tray”, and granite work surfaces. The same inventory also lists two Ionic columns costing £963.

Source

Thirty-nine thousand Pounds for a fucking kitchen!  

If it helps your blood pressure he is a known shirtlifter who has three other homes that he shares with his boyfriend. One in South Africa, One in Portugal and One in Islington ~ These are in addition to the Grace and Favour property that the expenses refer to. He writes books (8 so far) and has worked for Parliament since joining the Commons Clerk's Department in 1967 when he left university ~ How the hell did he acquire that sort of money on Civil Service pay?

Perhaps he works part time somewhere... as a rent boy...