Nice looking pub by the river on Monday evening. Pop in. Guy at bar. Accent (that sort). Bright red. SHaven head. Tattoos. Shell suit. 'AREYOOOOOOOOOOOINGLEESH?'
Me: Yes (small smile)
IT'S THE FOOKING MATCH, UNNNNNERJNANTEENS V INGLAND AT BLACKBURN AND MY NEPHOOOOO IS PLAYEN ADN WE WILLAVE YER SKINS.
Me: Yes (small smile)
Several more tattoed Gingers arrive
INNNNNNNGLISH HERE
They become 'intimate'
I flee.
Landlord follows me yelling, 'BUT YERVE NOT FINNISSSSSSHED YER PINT......'
Cheery wave goodbye
and quicken step
Then accosted by some bastard in a fooking kilt!! Shop: 'Freshly Caught Haggis Here' Idiots!!