Author Topic: Hat, coat...  (Read 440535 times)

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Offline Barman

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1230 on: December 11, 2013, 05:53:13 AM »
Just been on a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies..........



Is that a trick question................... rubschin:

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Offline Baldy

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1231 on: December 11, 2013, 06:46:46 AM »
Just been on a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies..........



Is that a trick question................... rubschin:

 lol: lol:

Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1232 on: December 11, 2013, 11:16:59 AM »
Just been on a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies..........



Is that a trick question................... rubschin:

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
I mostly despair

Offline apc2010

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1233 on: December 12, 2013, 08:08:41 AM »
The news today said one person is diagnosed with dementia every four seconds..........



That guy must have a really patient doctor......... rubschin:

Offline Baldy

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1234 on: December 12, 2013, 10:22:38 AM »
The news today said one person is diagnosed with dementia every four seconds..........



That guy must have a really patient doctor......... rubschin:

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Offline apc2010

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1235 on: December 14, 2013, 09:19:03 AM »
The North Korean state news agency has said that the executed uncle of Kim Jong-un was "Worse than a dog."

How bad did he taste ..... rubschin:

Offline Barman

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1236 on: December 14, 2013, 10:07:53 AM »
The North Korean state news agency has said that the executed uncle of Kim Jong-un was "Worse than a dog."

How bad did he taste ..... rubschin:


happy001
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Offline Barman

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1237 on: December 16, 2013, 02:52:20 PM »
An American tourist goes on a trip to China . While in China , he is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time.

A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his "tool" covered with bright green and purple freckles. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor.

The doctor, never having seen anything like it, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days. The man returns a couple of days and the doctor says "I've got bad news for you. You've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here. We know very little about it".

The man looks a little perplexed and says "Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up doc". The doctor answers "I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have to amputate your "tool".

The man screams in horror "Absolutely not! I want a second opinion".

The doctor replies "Well, it's your choice. Go ahead if you want but surgery is your only choice".

The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he'll know more about the disease. The Chinese doctor examines his tool and proclaims "Ah yes, Mongolian VD. Vely lare disease".

The guy says to the doctor "Yeah yeah, I already know that but what we can do? My American doctor wants to operate and amputate my tool?"

The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs "Stupid Amelican docta, always want to opelate. They make more money that way. No need to opelate!"

"Oh Thank God!" the man replies. "Yes" says the Chinese doctor "You no worry! Wait two weeks. Dick fall off by itself! You save money"
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Offline apc2010

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1238 on: December 16, 2013, 02:54:40 PM »
An American tourist goes on a trip to China . While in China , he is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time.

A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his "tool" covered with bright green and purple freckles. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor.

The doctor, never having seen anything like it, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days. The man returns a couple of days and the doctor says "I've got bad news for you. You've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here. We know very little about it".

The man looks a little perplexed and says "Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up doc". The doctor answers "I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have to amputate your "tool".

The man screams in horror "Absolutely not! I want a second opinion".

The doctor replies "Well, it's your choice. Go ahead if you want but surgery is your only choice".

The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he'll know more about the disease. The Chinese doctor examines his tool and proclaims "Ah yes, Mongolian VD. Vely lare disease".

The guy says to the doctor "Yeah yeah, I already know that but what we can do? My American doctor wants to operate and amputate my tool?"

The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs "Stupid Amelican docta, always want to opelate. They make more money that way. No need to opelate!"

"Oh Thank God!" the man replies. "Yes" says the Chinese doctor "You no worry! Wait two weeks. Dick fall off by itself! You save money"

 tunble:

Offline apc2010

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1239 on: December 21, 2013, 12:04:16 PM »
I had some tests done at the hospital recently and the doctor phoned today with the results. I said to him, "So, is it good news or bad?"..........





He replied, "Well put it this way, have you ever considered visiting Disneyland?"

Offline Barman

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1240 on: December 21, 2013, 12:05:51 PM »
I had some tests done at the hospital recently and the doctor phoned today with the results. I said to him, "So, is it good news or bad?"..........





He replied, "Well put it this way, have you ever considered visiting Disneyland?"

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Offline apc2010

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1241 on: December 21, 2013, 12:08:17 PM »
Firefighters are said to be struggling to control the blaze at Chessington World of Adventures.........

You can't blame them. They have to park their fire engines half a mile away in a field, water costs £5 a litre, there's a one hour queue to get to the front and £3 to exit the field afterwards........... noooo:

Offline Barman

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1242 on: December 21, 2013, 12:14:19 PM »
Firefighters are said to be struggling to control the blaze at Chessington World of Adventures.........

You can't blame them. They have to park their fire engines half a mile away in a field, water costs £5 a litre, there's a one hour queue to get to the front and £3 to exit the field afterwards........... noooo:

happy001
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Offline Just One More

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1243 on: December 21, 2013, 07:04:19 PM »
I really hope I don,t get another sweater for Christmas.


I'd much prefer a moaner or a screamer
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Barman

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1244 on: December 21, 2013, 07:08:57 PM »
I really hope I don,t get another sweater for Christmas.


I'd much prefer a moaner or a screamer

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