Hat, coat...

[Miss Demeanour]

 

[Barman]

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out, "Can you all see me now?"
"Yes."
"Oui."
"Sí."
"Ja."

 

Took me a while... 

[Miss Demeanour]

Well known phenomena ...delayed collapso reaction

[Barman]

Well known phenomena ...delayed collapso reaction

Collapso + brandy + beer... 

[Darwins Selection]

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out, "Can you all see me now?"
"Yes."
"Oui."
"Sí."
"Ja."

 

[Tipsy Gipsy]

Excellent   

[Just One More]

A customer asked, "In what aisle could I find the Irish sausage?"   
 
The clerk asks, "Are you Irish?"

The guy, clearly offended, says, "Yes I am.  But let me ask you something.

“If I had asked for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian?

Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German?

Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish?

Or if I had asked for a Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican?

Or if I asked for Polish sausage, would you ask if I was Polish?"

The clerk says, "No, I probably wouldn't."

The guy says, "Well then, because I asked for Irish sausage, why did you ask me if I'm Irish?"

The clerk replied, "Because you're in Halfords."

[Miss Demeanour]

Or Nick asking for meat in a florists 

[Nick]

 

[Baldy]

Or Nick asking for meat in a florists 

 

[Just One More]

DNA of Bin Laden has come back with a reading of 24% cocoa, 52% coconut, 18% sugar, and 6% milk. Experts say this is probably due to the bounty on his head.   

[Barman]

DNA of Bin Laden has come back with a reading of 24% cocoa, 52% coconut, 18% sugar, and 6% milk. Experts say this is probably due to the bounty on his head.   

 

[apc2010]

Thought I'd try that new Indian Restaurant in town. I was feeling a little adventurous so I went for the Pelican curry....




 It was actually pretty good but the bill was fucking enormous............

[Barman]

Thought I'd try that new Indian Restaurant in town. I was feeling a little adventurous so I went for the Pelican curry....




 It was actually pretty good but the bill was fucking enormous............

[groan] 

[miss Tchevious]

A man is in a bar and falling off his stool every couple of minutes. He is obviously drunk. So the bartender says to another man in the bar: "Why don't you be a good Samaritan and take him home."

The man takes the drunk out the door and to his car and he stumbles at least ten times. They drive along and the drunk points out his house to the man. He stops the car and the drunk stumbles up the steps to his house with the man.

The drunk's wife greets them at the door: "Why thank you for bringing him home for me, but where's his wheel chair?"