Author Topic: Hat, coat...  (Read 439461 times)

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Offline The Moan Ranger

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #255 on: June 23, 2011, 04:18:07 PM »
How does Stephen Hawking drink his tea?

"Pg Up". "Pg Dn"

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Offline Uncle Mort

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #256 on: June 23, 2011, 06:14:57 PM »
 ;D ;D ;D ;D




Offline Baldy

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #257 on: June 23, 2011, 06:18:29 PM »
 lol: lol: lol:

Offline Barman

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #258 on: June 24, 2011, 04:35:59 AM »
A 91 year old woman has taken up belly dancing. Which is unusual because 91 year old's normally prefer hip op.

[groan]  noooo:
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Offline Just One More

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #259 on: June 24, 2011, 06:03:43 AM »
Wife has left me . She says she can no longer cope with my fetish for caressing pasta .

Right now I am feeling canneloni .



LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Barman

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #260 on: June 24, 2011, 07:33:29 AM »
Wife has left me . She says she can no longer cope with my fetish for caressing pasta .

Right now I am feeling canneloni .

 drumroll:

 lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #261 on: June 24, 2011, 12:18:16 PM »
I mostly despair

Offline Barman

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Offline Snoopy

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #263 on: June 24, 2011, 03:30:40 PM »
69  whistle:
I used to have a handle on life but it broke.

Offline Miss Demeanour

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #264 on: June 24, 2011, 03:31:38 PM »
Now that's an accomplishment  whistle:
Skubber

Offline Nick

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #265 on: June 24, 2011, 04:11:48 PM »
 angel1
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Offline Just One More

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #266 on: June 24, 2011, 05:54:25 PM »
Now that's an accomplishment  whistle:

 lol:

Wheely ?
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Offline Nick

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #267 on: June 24, 2011, 05:58:17 PM »
You can tell she has not ridden a bike in years  noooo:
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Offline Just One More

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #268 on: June 24, 2011, 06:22:07 PM »
Have you   whistle:
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Nick

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #269 on: June 26, 2011, 09:57:55 AM »
A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. 

The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.

"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!"

He slams the door and returns to bed.

"Who was that?" asked his wife..

"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.


"Did you help him?" she asks.

"No, I did not, it's 3am in the morning and it's    pouring rain out there!"

"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? 

I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!

"God loves drunk people too you know."

The man gets dressed and goes out into the pounding rain.

He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"

"Yes," comes back the answer.

"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.


"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.

"Where are you?" asks the husband.












"Over here on the swing," replied the drunk

 
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