Hat, coat...

[Darwins Selection]

She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only the 'T' shirt that she normally slept in.

As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly," You've got to make love to me this very moment!"

My eyes lit up and I thought, "I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day!"

Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then gave it my all; right there on the kitchen, table.

Afterwards she said, "Thanks," and returned to the stove, her T-shirt still around her neck.

Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked, "What was that all about?"


She explained, "The egg timer's broken."

See also http://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/index.php?topic=2869.0 

All hail the son of Affs. 

[Snoopy]

She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only the 'T' shirt that she normally slept in.

As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly," You've got to make love to me this very moment!"

My eyes lit up and I thought, "I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day!"

Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then gave it my all; right there on the kitchen, table.

Afterwards she said, "Thanks," and returned to the stove, her T-shirt still around her neck.

Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked, "What was that all about?"


She explained, "The egg timer's broken."

See also http://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/index.php?topic=2869.0 

Like I said

Either that or she has the attention span of a goldfish.

[Miss Demeanour]

So hang me for not reading or remembering everything that has been posted on here...or flush me down the toilet whichever is easier

[Darwins Selection]

So hang me for not reading or remembering everything that has been posted on here...or flush me down the toilet whichever is easier

We always found a drop of whisky in the tank perked them up. Not malt obviously.

[Tipsy Gipsy]

Little Jimmy was admitted to hospital with 6 toy horses lodged in his bottom.  Doctors have described that he has the trots but his condition is stable.

[Barman]

Oh dear, oh dear... 

[apc2010]

Little Jimmy was admitted to hospital with 6 toy horses lodged in his bottom.  Doctors have described that he has the trots but his condition is stable.

Serves him right for foaling around ....

[Barman]

Little Jimmy was admitted to hospital with 6 toy horses lodged in his bottom.  Doctors have described that he has the trots but his condition is stable.

Serves him right for foaling around ....

[Tipsy Gipsy]

Sorry BM, a big boy made me do it! 

[GROWLER]

I asked Mrs G tonight what she would do if I won the lottery.

She said she'd take half and leave me.

Gave her a fiver and sent her packin'.

[Barman]

I asked Mrs G tonight what she would do if I won the lottery.

She said she'd take half and leave me.

Gave her a fiver and sent her packin'.

 

[Darwins Selection]

I asked Mrs G tonight what she would do if I won the lottery.

She said she'd take half and leave me.

Gave her a fiver and sent her packin'.

 
 

[The Moan Ranger]

Elton John goes to a tattoo parlour and asks for a Rolls Royce to be tattooed onto his cock.


The tattooist says: "Surely a Land Rover would be better to get you out of the s***".

[Nick]

I tried to tell Raoul MOat about gun safety, but it just went in one ear and out the other. 

[Snoopy]

I see that in the process of transferring data from one old laptop to one new laptop you have also migrated your sticky caps lock key.