Hat, coat...

[The Moan Ranger]

I hate double standards.

Some girl gets a vibrator and it's seen as a bit of naughty fun, but when I ordered my 240Volt FuckMaster Pro5000 blow-up latex doll with 6 speed revolving pussy, elasticised anus with imitation shit dribble and breast nipple discharge, non-drip semen collection tray, together with optional built in realistic orgasm scream sound system, I'm apparently a dirty fucking pervert.

Should you have put this in "The Commons", BM?

[Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits)]

I hate double standards.

Some girl gets a vibrator and it's seen as a bit of naughty fun, but when I ordered my 240Volt FuckMaster Pro5000 blow-up latex doll with 6 speed revolving pussy, elasticised anus with imitation shit dribble and breast nipple discharge, non-drip semen collection tray, together with optional built in realistic orgasm scream sound system, I'm apparently a dirty fucking pervert.

Should you have put this in "The Commons", BM?

. . . . only if he bought it on expenses

[apc2010]

I hate double standards.

Some girl gets a vibrator and it's seen as a bit of naughty fun, but when I ordered my 240Volt FuckMaster Pro5000 blow-up latex doll with 6 speed revolving pussy, elasticised anus with imitation shit dribble and breast nipple discharge, non-drip semen collection tray, together with optional built in realistic orgasm scream sound system, I'm apparently a dirty fucking pervert.

Should you have put this in "The Commons", BM?

 

[boogs]

I hate double standards.

Some girl gets a vibrator and it's seen as a bit of naughty fun, but when I ordered my 240Volt FuckMaster Pro5000 blow-up latex doll with 6 speed revolving pussy, elasticised anus with imitation shit dribble and breast nipple discharge, non-drip semen collection tray, together with optional built in realistic orgasm scream sound system, I'm apparently a dirty fucking pervert.

     

[boogs]

I saw a man with a trolley full of horseshoes and rabbits' feet earlier, trying to get it up a hill......

I thought, "He's pushing his luck.".......

I went to see my grumpy, war veteran grandad in hospital the other day.

"What's for dinner?" he barked.

"Chicken at 1 o'clock" said the nurse,


 so he shot the French bloke in the bed opposite......

FF's where did you find these...

[Barman]

I hate double standards.

Some girl gets a vibrator and it's seen as a bit of naughty fun, but when I ordered my 240Volt FuckMaster Pro5000 blow-up latex doll with 6 speed revolving pussy, elasticised anus with imitation shit dribble and breast nipple discharge, non-drip semen collection tray, together with optional built in realistic orgasm scream sound system, I'm apparently a dirty fucking pervert.

Should you have put this in "The Commons", BM?

 

[Nick]

So... Nick Clegg walked into a branch of HSBC to cash a cheque. As he approached the cashier he said "Good morning, could you please cash this cheque for me"?

Cashier: "It would be my pleasure Sir. Could you please show me your ID?"

Clegg: "Well I didn’t bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I am Nick Clegg, the Deputy Prime Minister!!!"

Cashier: "I’m sorry, but with all the regulations, monitoring, of the banks because of impostors and forgers, etc. I must insist on proof of identity."

Clegg: "Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am."

Cashier: "I am sorry Deputy Prime Minister but these are the bank rules and I must follow them."

Clegg: "I need this cheque cashed."

Cashier: "Perhaps there’s another way: One day Colin Montgomery came into the bank without ID.

To prove he was Colin Montgomery he pulled out his putting iron and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a cup.

With that shot we knew him to be Colin Montgomery and cashed his cheque.

Another time, Andy Murray came in without ID. He pulled out his tennis racquet and made a fabulous shot where the tennis ball landed in my cup. With that spectacular shot we cashed his cheque..

So sir, what can you do to prove that you, and only you, are the Deputy Prime Minister?"

Clegg stood there thinking and finally said: "Honestly, I can't think of a single thing I'm good at."

Cashier: "Will that be large or small notes, Deputy Prime Minister?"

[Barman]

 

[Darwins Selection]

[Steve]

[Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits)]

So... Nick Clegg walked into a branch of HSBC to cash a cheque. As he approached the cashier he said "Good morning, could you please cash this cheque for me"?

Cashier: "It would be my pleasure Sir. Could you please show me your ID?"

Clegg: "Well I didn’t bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I am Nick Clegg, the Deputy Prime Minister!!!"

Cashier: "I’m sorry, but with all the regulations, monitoring, of the banks because of impostors and forgers, etc. I must insist on proof of identity."

Clegg: "Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am."

Cashier: "I am sorry Deputy Prime Minister but these are the bank rules and I must follow them."

Clegg: "I need this cheque cashed."

Cashier: "Perhaps there’s another way: One day Colin Montgomery came into the bank without ID.

To prove he was Colin Montgomery he pulled out his putting iron and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a cup.

With that shot we knew him to be Colin Montgomery and cashed his cheque.

Another time, Andy Murray came in without ID. He pulled out his tennis racquet and made a fabulous shot where the tennis ball landed in my cup. With that spectacular shot we cashed his cheque..

So sir, what can you do to prove that you, and only you, are the Deputy Prime Minister?"

Clegg stood there thinking and finally he whipped his cock out and started 'cracking one off' -

Cashier: "Will that be large or small notes, Deputy Prime Minister?"

[Barman]

So... Nick Clegg walked into a branch of HSBC to cash a cheque. As he approached the cashier he said "Good morning, could you please cash this cheque for me"?

Cashier: "It would be my pleasure Sir. Could you please show me your ID?"

Clegg: "Well I didn’t bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I am Nick Clegg, the Deputy Prime Minister!!!"

Cashier: "I’m sorry, but with all the regulations, monitoring, of the banks because of impostors and forgers, etc. I must insist on proof of identity."

Clegg: "Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am."

Cashier: "I am sorry Deputy Prime Minister but these are the bank rules and I must follow them."

Clegg: "I need this cheque cashed."

Cashier: "Perhaps there’s another way: One day Colin Montgomery came into the bank without ID.

To prove he was Colin Montgomery he pulled out his putting iron and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a cup.

With that shot we knew him to be Colin Montgomery and cashed his cheque.

Another time, Andy Murray came in without ID. He pulled out his tennis racquet and made a fabulous shot where the tennis ball landed in my cup. With that spectacular shot we cashed his cheque..

So sir, what can you do to prove that you, and only you, are the Deputy Prime Minister?"

Clegg stood there thinking and finally he whipped his cock out and started 'cracking one off' -

Cashier: "Will that be large or small notes, Deputy Prime Minister?"

 

[apc2010]

Jim Apple finds introducing himself very problematic when holidaying in France.......

[Darwins Selection]

Jim Apple finds introducing himself very problematic when holidaying in France.......

[apc2010]

Jim Apple finds introducing himself very problematic when holidaying in France.......

And my mate Gordon Morgan hates Germany........