Disgusterous

Author Topic: Hat, coat...  (Read 439684 times)

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Offline Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons)

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #360 on: January 30, 2012, 11:40:30 AM »
Bought some 'rocket salad' yesterday but it went off before I could eat it!
 


A teddy bear is working on a building site. He goes for a tea break and when he returns he notices his pick has been stolen. The bear is angry and reports the theft to the foreman. The foreman grins at the bear and says "Oh, I forgot to tell you, today's the day the teddy bears have their pick nicked."
 

Just got back from my mate's funeral. He died after being hit on the head with a tennis ball. It was a lovely service.
 

19 paddies go to the cinema, the ticket lady asks "Why so many of you?" Mick replies, "The film said 18 or over."

Well, thanks for that 'little gem' JOM. redface:
I have always thought that the worst thing about drowning was having to call 'help!' You must look such a fool. It's put me against drowning.
J Basil Boothroyd

Offline Barman

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #361 on: January 30, 2012, 11:41:43 AM »
Bought some 'rocket salad' yesterday but it went off before I could eat it!
 


A teddy bear is working on a building site. He goes for a tea break and when he returns he notices his pick has been stolen. The bear is angry and reports the theft to the foreman. The foreman grins at the bear and says "Oh, I forgot to tell you, today's the day the teddy bears have their pick nicked."
 

Just got back from my mate's funeral. He died after being hit on the head with a tennis ball. It was a lovely service.
 

19 paddies go to the cinema, the ticket lady asks "Why so many of you?" Mick replies, "The film said 18 or over."

Well, thanks for that 'little gem' JOM. redface:

Has it taken you a month to think of it...?  lol:
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Offline Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons)

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #362 on: January 30, 2012, 04:33:42 PM »
 sad32:  Don't look in here very often. redface:
I have always thought that the worst thing about drowning was having to call 'help!' You must look such a fool. It's put me against drowning.
J Basil Boothroyd

Offline Barman

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #363 on: January 30, 2012, 04:34:37 PM »
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Offline Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits)

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #364 on: February 06, 2012, 12:56:56 PM »
Bought some 'rocket salad' yesterday but it went off before I could eat it!
 


A teddy bear is working on a building site. He goes for a tea break and when he returns he notices his pick has been stolen. The bear is angry and reports the theft to the foreman. The foreman grins at the bear and says "Oh, I forgot to tell you, today's the day the teddy bears have their pick nicked."
 

Just got back from my mate's funeral. He died after being hit on the head with a tennis ball. It was a lovely service.
 

19 paddies go to the cinema, the ticket lady asks "Why so many of you?" Mick replies, "The film said 18 or over."

Well, thanks for that 'little gem' JOM. redface:

Has it taken you a month to think of it...?  lol:

. . . Cos if it has, you're slow!
"Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end." 

Well, someone had to say it!

Offline The Moan Ranger

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #365 on: February 10, 2012, 08:43:10 AM »
I put ham and pineapple into a bap today.

Because that's Hawaii roll.

Offline Snoopy

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #366 on: February 10, 2012, 08:48:27 AM »
Let me help you into your coat.
I used to have a handle on life but it broke.

Offline The Moan Ranger

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #367 on: February 10, 2012, 09:02:02 AM »
Conjunctivitus.com

 

 

Now there’s a site for sore eyes   ;D

Offline tel

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #368 on: February 10, 2012, 09:26:38 AM »
I was at a cash point yesterday when a little old lady asked me to check her balance. So I pushed her over.

     RTFM

Offline The Moan Ranger

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #369 on: February 10, 2012, 09:32:05 AM »
I was at a cash point yesterday when a little old lady asked me to check her balance. So I pushed her over.

 ;D

Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #370 on: February 10, 2012, 09:43:37 AM »
I was at a cash point yesterday when a little old lady asked me to check her balance. So I pushed her over.
  lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Barman

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #371 on: February 10, 2012, 10:19:46 AM »
I was at a cash point yesterday when a little old lady asked me to check her balance. So I pushed her over.

 lol: lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Just One More

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #372 on: February 10, 2012, 10:48:34 PM »
Have you been injured?

Had a car accident?

Fell over on a wet floor at work?

Or tripped on an uneven curb?

If so.. .

Sort yourself out you clumsy twat
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Barman

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #373 on: February 11, 2012, 07:18:27 AM »
Have you been injured?

Had a car accident?

Fell over on a wet floor at work?

Or tripped on an uneven curb?

If so.. .

Sort yourself out you clumsy twat

happy001
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Offline apc2010

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #374 on: February 14, 2012, 10:15:59 PM »
How much does a cockney spend on shampoo


pantene...........