Hat, coat...

[Barman]

What's white and works in KFC?





The light switch.

[Baldy]

What's white and works in KFC?





The light switch.

 

[Just One More]

      

That's too good to be in here 

[Just One More]

Car Of The Year 2012, as voted by the readers of Women's Own magazine is:

A Blue One

[Barman]

Car Of The Year 2012, as voted by the readers of Women's Own magazine is:

A Blue One

[Snoopy]

Car Of The Year 2012, as voted by the readers of Women's Own magazine is:

A Blue One

Having spent a year selling new cars for Bristol Street Motors in Southampton back in the 70's that is no joke. Men would be interested in mpg, top speed, engine size and sometimes more technical matters such as a cassette player and other options  but their wives always wanted to know what colours were available. I know little about cars ~ never have but in 12 months nobody ever asked anything really technical that I couldn't answer.

It will come as no consolation to Uncle Mort but even then the tricky question to answer with accuracy was delivery dates.

[Barman]

A muslim bloke was bragging that he had the whole Koran on DVD.

Interested, I asked him to burn me a copy, well that's when it all kicked off...

[Baldy]

Car Of The Year 2012, as voted by the readers of Women's Own magazine is:

A Blue One

 

[Baldy]

A muslim bloke was bragging that he had the whole Koran on DVD.

Interested, I asked him to burn me a copy, well that's when it all kicked off...

 

[Barman]

Louisiana shit kicker visits his lawyer.

'Ah want one o they dayvorces.'

Lawyer, 'Is she violent, wasteful or denies you sex?'

'Nope'

Lawyer, 'Is she a nagger?'

Nope, She's a little white gal but that baby she just done had is a nagger.'

[Barman]

My daughter asked me "Dad, what does 'coming out' mean?"

I said..."well..it's when a gay person decides they have had enough of pretending they are straight,  They 'come out' which symbolises one's self, and the freedom form rules and expectations imposed by society. It's a sign of how human beings are becoming more open-minded and accepting of one another's differences. 

Mind you,  if it's a Nigerian, it usually means parole.

[Baldy]

Louisiana shit kicker visits his lawyer.

'Ah want one o they dayvorces.'

Lawyer, 'Is she violent, wasteful or denies you sex?'

'Nope'

Lawyer, 'Is she a nagger?'

Nope, She's a little white gal but that baby she just done had is a nagger.'

 

[Baldy]

My daughter asked me "Dad, what does 'coming out' mean?"

I said..."well..it's when a gay person decides they have had enough of pretending they are straight,  They 'come out' which symbolises one's self, and the freedom form rules and expectations imposed by society. It's a sign of how human beings are becoming more open-minded and accepting of one another's differences. 

Mind you,  if it's a Nigerian, it usually means parole.

 

[Barman]

I was training my Labrador retriever gundog and was asked how I got her to be so well behaved.
 
I replied. ‘I have never told her she is black’   
 

 
I had a black Labrador gundog who was superb until he saw himself in the mirror and began pimping bitches, dealing Bob Martin’s and mugging Spaniels.

[miss Tchevious]

  possibly the wankest joke ever.