Hat, coat...

[Barman]

Oscar Pistorius has said he won't be entering any further races.

I would think he should be a little more concerned about 'different races' entering him, once he's in prison.

 

[Barman]

Don't think yorkshire folk like us ......A farmer in Yorkshire sees a man drinking from his stream, so he shouts ,
“Ey up cocker, tha dunt wanna be drinkin watta frum theer, its full o hoss piss an cow shite an it could kill thee”
The man says: "Excuse me Sir, I am from Lancashire can you speak clearer and slower please”
The farmer replies: " if....you.... Use.... Two ....Hands....... You....Wont.... Spill ....Any"

  AFFS! 

[Just One More]

I had a feeling 

[Barman]

I had a feeling 

 

[apc2010]

IKEA meatballs contain horse DNA...

There's a joke in there somewhere,



 you'll have to assemble it yourselves.........

[apc2010]

Jordan............Egypt...........


not a good week for burst balloons...........

[Barman]

Jordan............Egypt...........


not a good week for burst balloons...........

[Barman]

IKEA meatballs contain horse DNA...

There's a joke in there somewhere,



 you'll have to assemble it yourselves.........

[apc2010]

It will be ironic if a black Pope is elected.......


 that he will be surrounded by men in white robes with pointy hats swinging crosses in front of him..........

[Barman]

It will be ironic if a black Pope is elected.......


 that he will be surrounded by men in white robes with pointy hats swinging crosses in front of him..........

[Baldy]

It will be ironic if a black Pope is elected.......


 that he will be surrounded by men in white robes with pointy hats swinging crosses in front of him..........

 

[Steve]

It will be ironic if a black Pope is elected.......


 that he will be surrounded by men in white robes with pointy hats swinging crosses in front of him..........

[Just One More]

I sued my local Aldi, after I injured my ankle slipping on a fresh dog turd in the store entrance. I lost the case though. The court didn't accept the idea that there'd be something fresh in Aldi.



A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide.
The librarian says, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."



‎"I got fired today," I told my mate, "for downloading porn on the work computer and causing everything to crash."
"That's a bit harsh," he replied.
"They don't fuck around at Air Traffic Control," I said.

[Barman]

I sued my local Aldi, after I injured my ankle slipping on a fresh dog turd in the store entrance. I lost the case though. The court didn't accept the idea that there'd be something fresh in Aldi.



A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide.
The librarian says, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."



‎"I got fired today," I told my mate, "for downloading porn on the work computer and causing everything to crash."
"That's a bit harsh," he replied.
"They don't fuck around at Air Traffic Control," I said.

Beer >>> keyboard 

[Steve]

I sued my local Aldi, after I injured my ankle slipping on a fresh dog turd in the store entrance. I lost the case though. The court didn't accept the idea that there'd be something fresh in Aldi.



A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide.
The librarian says, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."



‎"I got fired today," I told my mate, "for downloading porn on the work computer and causing everything to crash."
"That's a bit harsh," he replied.
"They don't fuck around at Air Traffic Control," I said.

Beer >>> keyboard