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I sued my local Aldi, after I injured my ankle slipping on a fresh dog turd in the store entrance. I lost the case though. The court didn't accept the idea that there'd be something fresh in Aldi.A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide.The librarian says, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back.""I got fired today," I told my mate, "for downloading porn on the work computer and causing everything to crash.""That's a bit harsh," he replied."They don't fuck around at Air Traffic Control," I said.
I've just seen an advert in my local newspaper......ACCOUNTANT NEEDED!£35,000 - £40,000So I phoned them up and said, "The answer is -£5,000.".............
What do Celtic and Oscar Pistorius have in common?Both lost two legs and only had three shots on target...
Quote from: apc2010 on February 15, 2013, 04:44:33 PMLosing both legs and only getting 4 shots off.....That's my prediction for Liverpools europa campaign.........................Similar ............
I live in Nottingham and I'm ginger and I got asked for sex today, I love filling in applications.