Paddy caught his Wife having an affair and decided to kill her and himself. He puts the gun to his head, looks at his Wife and says "Don't laugh, you're next!!"
Two Irishmen looking through a mail order catalogue. Paddy says "Look at these gorgeous women! The prices are reasonable too."
Mick agrees "I'm ordering one right now"
3 weeks later Paddy says to Mick "Has your woman turned up yet?"
"No" said Mick "but it shouldn't be long now though. Her clothes arrived yesterday.
Man walks into WH Smith and says "Do you have the new self-help book for men with really small dicks?"
Girl says "I don’t think it’s in yet"
He replies "Yeah, that’s the one!"
A dwarf goes to a good but very busy doctor and asks "I know you are busy but do you treat dwarves?"
The doctor replies "Yes, but you will have to be a little patient".
