Author Topic: Hat, coat...  (Read 440881 times)

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Offline apc2010

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #840 on: March 21, 2013, 01:04:53 PM »

My wife told me I can be a right bastard sometimes,




 so I chose Mondays and Wednesdays....... :thumbsup:

Offline Steve

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #841 on: March 21, 2013, 01:07:28 PM »
happy001
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline Baldy

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #842 on: March 21, 2013, 01:26:59 PM »

My wife told me I can be a right bastard sometimes,




 so I chose Mondays and Wednesdays....... :thumbsup:

 lol: lol: lol:

Offline Barman

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #843 on: March 21, 2013, 02:27:55 PM »

My wife told me I can be a right bastard sometimes,




 so I chose Mondays and Wednesdays....... :thumbsup:

 lol: lol: lol: lol:

Why only two days...?  rubschin:
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Offline apc2010

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #844 on: March 31, 2013, 01:42:20 PM »
I can't help being lazy..........
 
It walks in the family...........

Offline apc2010

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #845 on: March 31, 2013, 01:54:05 PM »
I sat on my hand for fifteen minutes earlier, before hoovering the living room....


Just so it felt like the wife was doing it.. ..........

Offline Steve

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #846 on: March 31, 2013, 02:13:58 PM »
is that the cleaned up joke version because we're before the watershed?
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline Just One More

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #847 on: April 03, 2013, 09:08:41 PM »
Ryanair's Micheal O'Leary arrives in a hotel in Dublin, he goes to the bar and asks for a pint of draught Guinness. The barman nodded and said, "That will be one Euro please, Mr. O'Leary."
Somewhat taken aback, O'Leary replied, "That's very cheap," and handed over his money.
"Well, we try to stay ahead of the competition", said the barman. "And we are serving free pints every Wednesday evening from 6 until 8. We have the cheapest beer in Ireland"
"That is remarkable value" Michael comments
"I see you don't seem to have a glass, so you'll probably need one of ours. That will be 3 euro please.
O'Leary scowled, but paid up. He took his drink and walked towards a seat.
"Ah, you want to sit down?" said the barman. "That'll be an extra 2 euro. - You could have pre-book the seat, and it would have only cost you a Euro."
"I think you may to be too big for the seat sir, can I ask you to sit in this frame please"
Michael attempts to sit down but the frame is too small and when he can't squeeze in he complains "Nobody would fit in that little frame".
"I'm afraid if you can't fit in the frame you'll have to pay an extra surcharge of €4.00 for your seat sir"
O'Leary swore to himself, but paid up. "I see that you have brought your laptop with you" added the barman. "And since that wasn't pre-booked either, that will be another 3 euro."
O'Leary was so annoyed that he walked back to the bar, slammed his drink on the counter, and yelled, "This is ridiculous, I want to speak to the manager".
"Ah, I see you want to use the counter," says the barman, "that will be 2 euro please." O'Leary's face was red with rage.
"Do you know who I am?"
"Of course I do Mr. O'Leary,"
"I've had enough, What sort of Hotel is this? I come in for a quiet drink and you treat me like this. I insist on speaking to a manager!"
"Here is his E mail address, or if you wish, you can contact him between 9 and 9.10 every morning, Monday to Tuesday at this free phone number. Calls are free, until they are answered, then there is a talking charge of only 10 cent per second"
"I will never use this bar again
"OK sir, but remember, we are the only hotel in Ireland selling pints for one Euro"
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Steve

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #848 on: April 03, 2013, 09:15:03 PM »
 lol: lol: lol:
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline Barman

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #849 on: April 04, 2013, 04:58:25 AM »
 lol: lol: lol:

Reminds me of that paint joke...  rubschin:
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Offline apc2010

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #850 on: April 06, 2013, 04:34:31 PM »
Today's a day where there are stakes on horses instead of horses in steaks......

Offline Barman

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #851 on: April 06, 2013, 05:19:41 PM »
Today's a day where there are stakes on horses instead of horses in steaks......

 tunble:
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Offline Just One More

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #852 on: April 07, 2013, 04:46:51 PM »
Paddy is sitting on a train across from a busty blonde wearing a tiny mini skirt. Despite his efforts, he is unable to stop staring at the top of her thighs. To his delight, he realises she has gone without underwear. The blonde realizes he is staring and inquires, "Are you looking at my muff?"
"Yes, I'm sorry," Paddy replies and promises to avert his eyes.
"It's quite all right," replies the woman, "It's very talented, watch this, I'll make it blow a kiss to you."
Sure enough the vagina blows him a kiss.
Paddy, who is completely absorbed, inquires what else the wonder muff can do.
"I can also make it wink," says the woman.
Paddy stares in amazement as the vagina winks at him.
"Come and sit next to me," suggests the woman, patting the seat.
Paddy moves over and she smiles and asks,
"Would you like to stick a couple of fingers in?"
Stunned, Paddy replies, "You’re kidding—you mean it can whistle, too?”
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Barman

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #853 on: April 08, 2013, 07:27:55 AM »
 lol: lol: lol:
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Offline apc2010

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #854 on: April 21, 2013, 09:50:16 PM »

Kids: if anyone tells you you have ADHD, pay no attention..........