Author Topic: Hat, coat...  (Read 440862 times)

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Offline Baldy

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1170 on: November 25, 2013, 08:52:06 AM »
Four elderly gents are walking down a street in Manchester.
They turn a corner and see a sign that says, "Old Timers Pub - All drinks 20p."
They look at each other and then go in, thinking this is too good to be true.
The old man behind the bar says in a voice that carries across the room,

"Come on in and let me get you one ! What'll it be, gentlemen?"
There's a fully stocked bar, so each of the men (spoilt for choice
and no doubt still clinging to inflated memories of their youth)
orders a dry martini - shaken, not stirred. In no time at all the landlord
serves up four martinis and says, "That'll be 20p each, please."

The four guys stare at him for a moment, then at each other.
They can't believe their good luck.
They pay the 80p, enjoy their martinis, then order another round.
Again, four excellent martinis are produced,
with the bartender again saying, "That's 80p, please."   

     
They pay up, but their curiosity is getting the better of them.
The drinks are excellent, yet it's costing less than £1 a round.
Finally one of them asks, "How can you afford to serve martinis
as good as these for a 20p a throw?"
"I'm a retired tailor," the landlord says, "and I always wanted to own a pub.
Last year I hit the Lottery Jackpot for £25 million and decided to open this place.
Every drink costs 20p - that's Wine, spirits, liqueurs, beer - they're all the same."

"Wow! That's what I call sharing your good fortune!" one of the men replies.>> 
As the four of them sip at their martinis, they can't help noticing several
other people at the end of the bar who don't have any drinks in front of them
and haven't ordered anything the whole time they've been there.

Nodding at the men at the far end of the bar, one of the men asks the barman,
"With prices like yours, how come they're not drinking?"
The landlord says, "Simple. They're retired folk from Scotland.
They're waiting for Happy Hour when all drinks are half-price".

Online Steve

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1171 on: November 25, 2013, 11:28:24 AM »
Four elderly gents are walking down a street in Manchester.
They turn a corner and see a sign that says, "Old Timers Pub - All drinks 20p."
They look at each other and then go in, thinking this is too good to be true.
The old man behind the bar says in a voice that carries across the room,

"Come on in and let me get you one ! What'll it be, gentlemen?"
There's a fully stocked bar, so each of the men (spoilt for choice
and no doubt still clinging to inflated memories of their youth)
orders a dry martini - shaken, not stirred. In no time at all the landlord
serves up four martinis and says, "That'll be 20p each, please."

The four guys stare at him for a moment, then at each other.
They can't believe their good luck.
They pay the 80p, enjoy their martinis, then order another round.
Again, four excellent martinis are produced,
with the bartender again saying, "That's 80p, please."   

     
They pay up, but their curiosity is getting the better of them.
The drinks are excellent, yet it's costing less than £1 a round.
Finally one of them asks, "How can you afford to serve martinis
as good as these for a 20p a throw?"
"I'm a retired tailor," the landlord says, "and I always wanted to own a pub.
Last year I hit the Lottery Jackpot for £25 million and decided to open this place.
Every drink costs 20p - that's Wine, spirits, liqueurs, beer - they're all the same."

"Wow! That's what I call sharing your good fortune!" one of the men replies.>> 
As the four of them sip at their martinis, they can't help noticing several
other people at the end of the bar who don't have any drinks in front of them
and haven't ordered anything the whole time they've been there.

Nodding at the men at the far end of the bar, one of the men asks the barman,
"With prices like yours, how come they're not drinking?"
The landlord says, "Simple. They're retired folk from Scotland.
They're waiting for Happy Hour when all drinks are half-price".
happy001
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline Barman

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1172 on: November 25, 2013, 12:21:53 PM »
Four elderly gents are walking down a street in Manchester.
They turn a corner and see a sign that says, "Old Timers Pub - All drinks 20p."
They look at each other and then go in, thinking this is too good to be true.
The old man behind the bar says in a voice that carries across the room,

"Come on in and let me get you one ! What'll it be, gentlemen?"
There's a fully stocked bar, so each of the men (spoilt for choice
and no doubt still clinging to inflated memories of their youth)
orders a dry martini - shaken, not stirred. In no time at all the landlord
serves up four martinis and says, "That'll be 20p each, please."

The four guys stare at him for a moment, then at each other.
They can't believe their good luck.
They pay the 80p, enjoy their martinis, then order another round.
Again, four excellent martinis are produced,
with the bartender again saying, "That's 80p, please."   

     
They pay up, but their curiosity is getting the better of them.
The drinks are excellent, yet it's costing less than £1 a round.
Finally one of them asks, "How can you afford to serve martinis
as good as these for a 20p a throw?"
"I'm a retired tailor," the landlord says, "and I always wanted to own a pub.
Last year I hit the Lottery Jackpot for £25 million and decided to open this place.
Every drink costs 20p - that's Wine, spirits, liqueurs, beer - they're all the same."

"Wow! That's what I call sharing your good fortune!" one of the men replies.>> 
As the four of them sip at their martinis, they can't help noticing several
other people at the end of the bar who don't have any drinks in front of them
and haven't ordered anything the whole time they've been there.

Nodding at the men at the far end of the bar, one of the men asks the barman,
"With prices like yours, how come they're not drinking?"
The landlord says, "Simple. They're retired folk from Scotland.
They're waiting for Happy Hour when all drinks are half-price".

 lol: lol: lol:
Pro Skub  Thumbs:

Offline Just One More

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1173 on: November 25, 2013, 06:41:32 PM »
 lol:  lol:  lol:  lol:
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline apc2010

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1174 on: November 29, 2013, 04:52:47 AM »
I've been smoking cigarettes since 1990

Since then I've tried nicotine patches, hypnosis, cold turkey, gum and e-cigs, but to no avail........



Still, if the Government puts them in plain packaging I'll never touch another one.......... noooo:


should be in the commons...... rubschin:

Offline Just One More

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1175 on: November 29, 2013, 05:50:32 AM »
Warning... I'm going for the hat, coat, door post of the year with this one....

My friend Gav died yesterday from taking heart burn tablets, I can't believe gavisgon.
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline apc2010

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1176 on: November 29, 2013, 05:54:41 AM »
Warning... I'm going for the hat, coat, door post of the year with this one....

My friend Gav died yesterday from taking heart burn tablets, I can't believe gavisgon.

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D  could be a winner ........

Offline Barman

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1177 on: November 29, 2013, 07:14:33 AM »
Warning... I'm going for the hat, coat, door post of the year with this one....

My friend Gav died yesterday from taking heart burn tablets, I can't believe gavisgon.

happy001  Thumbs:
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Offline Barman

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1178 on: November 29, 2013, 07:15:06 AM »
I've been smoking cigarettes since 1990

Since then I've tried nicotine patches, hypnosis, cold turkey, gum and e-cigs, but to no avail........



Still, if the Government puts them in plain packaging I'll never touch another one.......... noooo:


should be in the commons...... rubschin:

I think it should be....  lol:
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Offline Baldy

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1179 on: November 29, 2013, 08:20:37 AM »
Warning... I'm going for the hat, coat, door post of the year with this one....

My friend Gav died yesterday from taking heart burn tablets, I can't believe gavisgon.

 lol: lol:  noooo:

Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1180 on: November 29, 2013, 10:22:48 AM »
Warning... I'm going for the hat, coat, door post of the year with this one....

My friend Gav died yesterday from taking heart burn tablets, I can't believe gavisgon.
drumroll: doh:
I mostly despair

Online Steve

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1181 on: November 29, 2013, 12:37:49 PM »

Warning... I'm going for the hat, coat, door post of the year with this one....

My friend Gav died yesterday from taking heart burn tablets, I can't believe gavisgon.
drumroll: doh:
happy001 happy002
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline boogs

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1182 on: November 29, 2013, 09:09:56 PM »
Warning... I'm going for the hat, coat, door post of the year with this one....

My friend Gav died yesterday from taking heart burn tablets, I can't believe gavisgon.

Classic  lol: lol: lol:
You only get one chance at this life so make the most of it .

Offline apc2010

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1183 on: November 30, 2013, 01:30:09 AM »
Was in a pub in Glasgow last night and it was utter chaos, Smoke everywhere, People screaming. Fighting ,spilled beer and men trampling each other in a blind panic to be free........






 Then to make matters worse a fucking helicopter crashed through the roof.....

Offline Baldy

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1184 on: November 30, 2013, 01:33:18 AM »
Was in a pub in Glasgow last night and it was utter chaos, Smoke everywhere, People screaming. Fighting ,spilled beer and men trampling each other in a blind panic to be free........






 Then to make matters worse a fucking helicopter crashed through the roof.....

 lol: lol: