Author Topic: Hat, coat...  (Read 440742 times)

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Offline Grumpmeister

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1215 on: December 03, 2013, 01:50:59 PM »
"He's inside you!!"

 redface:
The universe is run by the complex interweaving of three elements. Energy, matter, and enlightened self-interest.

Offline Barman

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1216 on: December 03, 2013, 01:52:57 PM »
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Offline apc2010

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1217 on: December 03, 2013, 10:56:51 PM »
At least now, when we hear the commentator say, "that's a perfect entry by Tom Daley......... noooo:

Offline Baldy

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1218 on: December 04, 2013, 12:14:32 AM »
At least now, when we hear the commentator say, "that's a perfect entry by Tom Daley......... noooo:

 lol:

Offline Barman

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1219 on: December 04, 2013, 05:43:02 AM »
At least now, when we hear the commentator say, "that's a perfect entry by Tom Daley......... noooo:

 lol: lol: lol:
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Offline apc2010

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1220 on: December 07, 2013, 09:37:02 PM »
Idris Elba, the actor who plays Nelson Mandela, was asked what drew him to the role...........

He said, "Its apartheid always wanted"..........

Offline Barman

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1221 on: December 07, 2013, 09:38:06 PM »
Idris Elba, the actor who plays Nelson Mandela, was asked what drew him to the role...........

He said, "Its apartheid always wanted"..........

 lol: lol: lol:
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Offline boogs

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1222 on: December 07, 2013, 10:25:00 PM »
Idris Elba, the actor who plays Nelson Mandela, was asked what drew him to the role...........

He said, "Its apartheid always wanted"..........


 ::) ::) ::)
You only get one chance at this life so make the most of it .

Offline Baldy

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1223 on: December 08, 2013, 07:46:30 PM »
A man with a winking problem applies for a position as a sales representative for a large firm. The interviewer looks over his papers and says. "This is phenomenal; you've graduated from the best schools, your recommendations are wonderful, and your experience is unparalleled. Normally, we'd hire you without a second thought. However, a sales representative has a highly visible position and we're afraid that your constant winking will scare off potential customers".

"Hang on," the man says. "All I need to do is take two aspirins, they stop me winking!"


"Really" says the interviewer? "Great! Show me!"

So the applicant reaches into his jacket pocket and begins pulling out all sorts of condoms: red condoms, blue condoms, ribbed condoms, flavoured condoms; finally, at the bottom, he finds a packet of aspirin. He tears it open, swallows the pills, and stops winking.

"Well," said the interviewer, "that's all well and good, but this is a respectable company, and we will not have our employees womanizing all over the country."


"Womanizing? What do you mean? I'm a happily married man!"


"Well then, how do you explain all these condoms?"


"Oh, that," he sighed. "Have you ever walked into a pharmacy, winking, and asked for aspirin?"

Offline Barman

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1224 on: December 08, 2013, 07:57:24 PM »
A man with a winking problem applies for a position as a sales representative for a large firm. The interviewer looks over his papers and says. "This is phenomenal; you've graduated from the best schools, your recommendations are wonderful, and your experience is unparalleled. Normally, we'd hire you without a second thought. However, a sales representative has a highly visible position and we're afraid that your constant winking will scare off potential customers".

"Hang on," the man says. "All I need to do is take two aspirins, they stop me winking!"


"Really" says the interviewer? "Great! Show me!"

So the applicant reaches into his jacket pocket and begins pulling out all sorts of condoms: red condoms, blue condoms, ribbed condoms, flavoured condoms; finally, at the bottom, he finds a packet of aspirin. He tears it open, swallows the pills, and stops winking.

"Well," said the interviewer, "that's all well and good, but this is a respectable company, and we will not have our employees womanizing all over the country."


"Womanizing? What do you mean? I'm a happily married man!"


"Well then, how do you explain all these condoms?"


"Oh, that," he sighed. "Have you ever walked into a pharmacy, winking, and asked for aspirin?"

 lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Just One More

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1225 on: December 08, 2013, 08:40:09 PM »
 lol: lol: lol: lol:
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1226 on: December 09, 2013, 03:05:28 PM »
I mostly despair

Offline boogs

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1227 on: December 09, 2013, 11:43:33 PM »
A man with a winking problem applies for a position as a sales representative for a large firm. The interviewer looks over his papers and says. "This is phenomenal; you've graduated from the best schools, your recommendations are wonderful, and your experience is unparalleled. Normally, we'd hire you without a second thought. However, a sales representative has a highly visible position and we're afraid that your constant winking will scare off potential customers".

"Hang on," the man says. "All I need to do is take two aspirins, they stop me winking!"


"Really" says the interviewer? "Great! Show me!"

So the applicant reaches into his jacket pocket and begins pulling out all sorts of condoms: red condoms, blue condoms, ribbed condoms, flavoured condoms; finally, at the bottom, he finds a packet of aspirin. He tears it open, swallows the pills, and stops winking.

"Well," said the interviewer, "that's all well and good, but this is a respectable company, and we will not have our employees womanizing all over the country."


"Womanizing? What do you mean? I'm a happily married man!"


"Well then, how do you explain all these condoms?"


"Oh, that," he sighed. "Have you ever walked into a pharmacy, winking, and asked for aspirin?"

 lol: lol: lol:
You only get one chance at this life so make the most of it .

Offline apc2010

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1228 on: December 11, 2013, 04:59:20 AM »
Just been on a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies..........



Is that a trick question................... rubschin:

Offline Just One More

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1229 on: December 11, 2013, 05:44:12 AM »
 lol:
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie