Author Topic: Hat, coat...  (Read 440191 times)

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Offline Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits)

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1365 on: March 03, 2014, 10:27:08 AM »
Once there was a farmer. He had two teenage sons. This farmer had just inherited some of money from his brother's recent death. He couldn't decide which son he could send to college, since he could only afford to send one.

This farmer also had two ducks. These ducks were retarded. They were only two ducks on the farm that weren't normal. He told his sons that whoever could get the most money for the duck would go to college.

The sons went out in attempt to collect as much money as they could. The first son was walking down the street when he passed a man working in the yard. The man asked him if the duck was for sale, for the man loved the taste of ducks. He offered the son 10 dollars for his duck. The son decided this was very good, so he took it. He decided his brother wouldn't be able to get close to his success.

The second son was walking and passed a whorehouse. He went in and said that he didn't have any money, but he would give them the duck. One girl said fine. After they fckked, she decided that she didn't want the duck anymore. The son said he would take the duck back if they fucked again. She agreed. After they fucked the second time, the son left.

He was walking home, thinking about what to do with the duck when it broke the leash. The duck ran out into the street and was hit by a car. The lady that hit it jumped from her car and started apologizing profusely. The son insisted it was ok, but the lady said she would pay for the duck. She was in a hurry, so she gave him 25 dollars and sped off.

When the sons got home, the farmer asked the first son what he got. He proudly displayed the 10 dollars. The farmer was impressed. He asked the second son the same thing.

"That's nothing. I got a fuck for a duck, a duck for a fuck, and 25 dollars for a fucked up duck."
"Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end." 

Well, someone had to say it!

Offline Steve

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1366 on: March 03, 2014, 10:41:00 AM »

I get really pissed off with people contaminating our waters. Yesterday, I caught some guy emptying ash into the ocean.
"You do know you're not allowed to dump your waste in the ocean?" I said
"It was my wife," he sobbed.

"Yeah right, I just saw you doing it," I replied, before punching him in the face.

happy001
happy001 happy001
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline Barman

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1367 on: March 03, 2014, 11:02:33 AM »
Once there was a farmer. He had two teenage sons. This farmer had just inherited some of money from his brother's recent death. He couldn't decide which son he could send to college, since he could only afford to send one.

This farmer also had two ducks. These ducks were retarded. They were only two ducks on the farm that weren't normal. He told his sons that whoever could get the most money for the duck would go to college.

The sons went out in attempt to collect as much money as they could. The first son was walking down the street when he passed a man working in the yard. The man asked him if the duck was for sale, for the man loved the taste of ducks. He offered the son 10 dollars for his duck. The son decided this was very good, so he took it. He decided his brother wouldn't be able to get close to his success.

The second son was walking and passed a whorehouse. He went in and said that he didn't have any money, but he would give them the duck. One girl said fine. After they fckked, she decided that she didn't want the duck anymore. The son said he would take the duck back if they fucked again. She agreed. After they fucked the second time, the son left.

He was walking home, thinking about what to do with the duck when it broke the leash. The duck ran out into the street and was hit by a car. The lady that hit it jumped from her car and started apologizing profusely. The son insisted it was ok, but the lady said she would pay for the duck. She was in a hurry, so she gave him 25 dollars and sped off.

When the sons got home, the farmer asked the first son what he got. He proudly displayed the 10 dollars. The farmer was impressed. He asked the second son the same thing.

"That's nothing. I got a fuck for a duck, a duck for a fuck, and 25 dollars for a fucked up duck."

 lol: lol:
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Offline Nick

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1368 on: March 03, 2014, 11:12:19 AM »
Warning: May contain Skub
Cat sitter extraordinaire
Semi-professional crocodile

Offline Barman

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1369 on: March 03, 2014, 11:15:46 AM »
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Offline Just One More

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1370 on: March 03, 2014, 08:15:24 PM »
Two armed men robbed a bank yesterday using a large wooden board to hide from the CCTV. Police say they dont know who was behind it.
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline apc2010

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1371 on: March 03, 2014, 08:17:03 PM »
Two armed men robbed a bank yesterday using a large wooden board to hide from the CCTV. Police say they dont know who was behind it.

 ;D   noooo:

Offline Barman

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1372 on: March 03, 2014, 08:22:18 PM »
Two armed men robbed a bank yesterday using a large wooden board to hide from the CCTV. Police say they dont know who was behind it.

 lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Steve

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1373 on: March 03, 2014, 10:13:53 PM »
Two armed men robbed a bank yesterday using a large wooden board to hide from the CCTV. Police say they dont know who was behind it.

 ;D   noooo:
lol: lol: lol:
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline apc2010

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1374 on: March 05, 2014, 02:38:21 PM »
I am taking bets on Oscar Pistorius murder trial.........


 

9/2 if he's found guilty .....



1000/1 if he walks.... whistle:

Offline Barman

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1375 on: March 05, 2014, 03:27:33 PM »
I am taking bets on Oscar Pistorius murder trial.........


 

9/2 if he's found guilty .....



1000/1 if he walks.... whistle:
#

happy001
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Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1376 on: March 05, 2014, 03:36:40 PM »
I am taking bets on Oscar Pistorius murder trial.........


 

9/2 if he's found guilty .....



1000/1 if he walks.... whistle:
#

happy001

 lol: lol: lol:

He seems confident. I definitely detected a spring in his step going into court this morning.
I mostly despair

Offline Barman

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1377 on: March 05, 2014, 03:42:50 PM »
I am taking bets on Oscar Pistorius murder trial.........


 

9/2 if he's found guilty .....



1000/1 if he walks.... whistle:
#

happy001

 lol: lol: lol:

He seems confident. I definitely detected a spring in his step going into court this morning.


happy001
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Offline Baldy

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1378 on: March 05, 2014, 05:47:41 PM »
I am taking bets on Oscar Pistorius murder trial.........


 

9/2 if he's found guilty .....



1000/1 if he walks.... whistle:
#

happy001

 lol: lol: lol:

He seems confident. I definitely detected a spring in his step going into court this morning.

 lol:

Offline Steve

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1379 on: March 05, 2014, 07:24:00 PM »
I am taking bets on Oscar Pistorius murder trial.........


 

9/2 if he's found guilty .....



1000/1 if he walks.... whistle:
#

happy001

 lol: lol: lol:

He seems confident. I definitely detected a spring in his step going into court this morning.

 lol:
happy001
Well, whatever, nevermind