Disgusterous

Author Topic: Hat, coat...  (Read 440136 times)

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Offline Just One More

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1380 on: March 06, 2014, 06:20:52 AM »
I am taking bets on Oscar Pistorius murder trial.........


 

9/2 if he's found guilty .....



1000/1 if he walks.... whistle:

How many complaints did you get  ;D  The advertising watchdog got 5,200, and 122,000 signed a petition
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Online Barman

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1381 on: March 06, 2014, 06:27:53 AM »
I am taking bets on Oscar Pistorius murder trial.........


 

9/2 if he's found guilty .....



1000/1 if he walks.... whistle:

How many complaints did you get  ;D  The advertising watchdog got 5,200, and 122,000 signed a petition

 lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Baldy

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1382 on: March 09, 2014, 06:07:50 AM »
Prostitute's Tax Return... 

A woman walks into a local accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes.   

The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask you a few questions." 

He gets her name, address etc. And then asks, "What's your occupation?"

"I'm a prostitute," she says.

The accountant is somewhat taken aback and says, "Let's try to re phrase that."

The woman says, "OK, I'm a high-end call girl". 

 "No, that still won't work. Try again."

 They both think for a minute; then the woman says, "I'm an elite poultry farmer."

The accountant asks, "What does poultry farming have to do with being a prostitute?"

"Well, I raised a thousand cocks last year." 

 "Poultry Farmer it is."

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1383 on: March 09, 2014, 07:18:26 AM »
Prostitute's Tax Return... 

A woman walks into a local accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes.   

The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask you a few questions." 

He gets her name, address etc. And then asks, "What's your occupation?"

"I'm a prostitute," she says.

The accountant is somewhat taken aback and says, "Let's try to re phrase that."

The woman says, "OK, I'm a high-end call girl". 

 "No, that still won't work. Try again."

 They both think for a minute; then the woman says, "I'm an elite poultry farmer."

The accountant asks, "What does poultry farming have to do with being a prostitute?"

"Well, I raised a thousand cocks last year." 

 "Poultry Farmer it is."

 ;D
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Offline apc2010

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1384 on: March 09, 2014, 09:28:48 AM »
I see Legoland was shut down due to a bomb scare..........

 

But if there was ever a place that's easy to rebuild . ...... rubschin:


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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1385 on: March 09, 2014, 10:08:47 AM »
I see Legoland was shut down due to a bomb scare..........

 

But if there was ever a place that's easy to rebuild . ...... rubschin:


happy001
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Offline Just One More

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1386 on: March 09, 2014, 10:50:38 AM »
Prostitute's Tax Return... 

A woman walks into a local accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes.   

The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask you a few questions." 

He gets her name, address etc. And then asks, "What's your occupation?"

"I'm a prostitute," she says.

The accountant is somewhat taken aback and says, "Let's try to re phrase that."

The woman says, "OK, I'm a high-end call girl". 

 "No, that still won't work. Try again."

 They both think for a minute; then the woman says, "I'm an elite poultry farmer."

The accountant asks, "What does poultry farming have to do with being a prostitute?"

"Well, I raised a thousand cocks last year." 

 "Poultry Farmer it is."

 lol: lol:
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Online Steve

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1387 on: March 10, 2014, 12:15:41 AM »
 lol: lol: lol: both ^
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline Just One More

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1388 on: March 12, 2014, 12:51:47 AM »



APPEAL FOR WITNESSES!!!
Gloucestershire Police have told a Cheltenham man how lucky he was when an unknown person or paranormal being gained access unnoticed to his flat and turned the oven down!!!!
Chief Inspector Mike Hunt of Cheltenham Police said it was one of the strangest occurrences he had come across during his service.

The occupant, Mr Fester McPester said "I distinctly put the oven on to 160 and then feeling a bit horny thought I'd have a soapy bath with extras. Next thing is the missus comes home and finds the oven turned down basically fucking up me tea!!!!"
Chief Inspector Mike Hunt said "Mrs McPester has been taken to the chippy to buy tea but she is still in shock!!!.....the incident has been made even traumatic as the price of cod and chips has gone up considerably"

Mr Fester McPester spoke to our reporter and said "I want me tea...now!!!"

Police enquiries are sponsored by Charlie's Chippy

LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1389 on: March 12, 2014, 06:32:14 AM »



APPEAL FOR WITNESSES!!!
Gloucestershire Police have told a Cheltenham man how lucky he was when an unknown person or paranormal being gained access unnoticed to his flat and turned the oven down!!!!
Chief Inspector Mike Hunt of Cheltenham Police said it was one of the strangest occurrences he had come across during his service.

The occupant, Mr Fester McPester said "I distinctly put the oven on to 160 and then feeling a bit horny thought I'd have a soapy bath with extras. Next thing is the missus comes home and finds the oven turned down basically fucking up me tea!!!!"
Chief Inspector Mike Hunt said "Mrs McPester has been taken to the chippy to buy tea but she is still in shock!!!.....the incident has been made even traumatic as the price of cod and chips has gone up considerably"

Mr Fester McPester spoke to our reporter and said "I want me tea...now!!!"

Police enquiries are sponsored by Charlie's Chippy

 ;D
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Offline apc2010

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1390 on: March 14, 2014, 12:09:51 PM »
Four people have died in a helicopter crash in Norfolk..........



The bodies were so horribly disfigured the locals thought they were still alive....


Offline Baldy

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1391 on: March 14, 2014, 12:23:15 PM »
Four people have died in a helicopter crash in Norfolk..........



The bodies were so horribly disfigured the locals thought they were still alive....

 lol:

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1392 on: March 14, 2014, 03:37:52 PM »
Four people have died in a helicopter crash in Norfolk..........



The bodies were so horribly disfigured the locals thought they were still alive....

 lol: lol: lol:
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Online Steve

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1393 on: March 14, 2014, 08:21:08 PM »
Four people have died in a helicopter crash in Norfolk..........



The bodies were so horribly disfigured the locals thought they were still alive....

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits)

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1394 on: March 17, 2014, 12:35:14 PM »
Bibo, ergo sum!


A Roman soldier walks into a bar and asks for a Bacardus and coke.
The barman says, "Do you mean Bacardi and coke?'
The soldier replies, "If I wanted a double I would have asked for one!"

A Roman soldier walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and says, "Five beers please barman."


(In case you were wondering, the title means, 'I drink, therefore I am', in Latin.)
"Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end." 

Well, someone had to say it!