Hat, coat...

[Steve]

Girls learn quicker than Boys & use a more complex Volcrla..... Volcavru...... Volcablua........ Bigger words!

 

[Steve]

In my experience they just use more words than necessary and too loudly 

Let me guess, usually starting along the lines of "WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE TO THE...." 

[Baldy]

Two guys in their mid-twenties while sitting at a bar.
One of the guys says to his buddy, "Man you look tired."
His buddy says, "Dude I'm exhausted. My girlfriend and I have sex all the time.I just don't know what to do."
A guy in his 70s sitting a couple of stools down overheard the conversation.
He looked over at the guys and with the wisdom ofyears, he says,"Marry her. That'll put a stop to that shit!"

[Barman]

Two guys in their mid-twenties while sitting at a bar.
One of the guys says to his buddy, "Man you look tired."
His buddy says, "Dude I'm exhausted. My girlfriend and I have sex all the time.I just don't know what to do."
A guy in his 70s sitting a couple of stools down overheard the conversation.
He looked over at the guys and with the wisdom ofyears, he says,"Marry her. That'll put a stop to that shit!"

 

[The Moan Ranger]

Retrospectively, I wish I'd bought my baked beans online.

Heinz site's a wonderful thing.

[Nick]

 

[Barman]

Retrospectively, I wish I'd bought my baked beans online.

Heinz site's a wonderful thing.

 

[Steve]

Retrospectively, I wish I'd bought my baked beans online.

Heinz site's a wonderful thing.

 

[Baldy]

Twelve Italian priests were about to be ordained.

They lined up in a straight row, totally nude, in a garden while a sexy, beautiful, big breasted, nude model danced before them.

Each priest had a small bell attached to his winkie, and they were told that anyone whose bell rang when she danced in front of them would
not be ordained because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity.

The beautiful model danced before the first candidate with no reaction.

She proceeded down the line with the same response from all the priests until she got to the final priest, Carlos.

Poor Carlos. As she danced, his bell began to ring so loudly that it flew off, clattering across the ground and laid to rest in nearby foliage.

Embarrassed, Carlos quickly scrambled to where the bell came to rest.

He bent over to pick it up... and all the other bells started to ring.

[Barman]

Twelve Italian priests were about to be ordained.

They lined up in a straight row, totally nude, in a garden while a sexy, beautiful, big breasted, nude model danced before them.

Each priest had a small bell attached to his winkie, and they were told that anyone whose bell rang when she danced in front of them would
not be ordained because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity.

The beautiful model danced before the first candidate with no reaction.

She proceeded down the line with the same response from all the priests until she got to the final priest, Carlos.

Poor Carlos. As she danced, his bell began to ring so loudly that it flew off, clattering across the ground and laid to rest in nearby foliage.

Embarrassed, Carlos quickly scrambled to where the bell came to rest.

He bent over to pick it up... and all the other bells started to ring.

 

[apc2010]

Twelve Italian priests were about to be ordained.

They lined up in a straight row, totally nude, in a garden while a sexy, beautiful, big breasted, nude model danced before them.

Each priest had a small bell attached to his winkie, and they were told that anyone whose bell rang when she danced in front of them would
not be ordained because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity.

The beautiful model danced before the first candidate with no reaction.

She proceeded down the line with the same response from all the priests until she got to the final priest, Carlos.

Poor Carlos. As she danced, his bell began to ring so loudly that it flew off, clattering across the ground and laid to rest in nearby foliage.

Embarrassed, Carlos quickly scrambled to where the bell came to rest.

He bent over to pick it up... and all the other bells started to ring.

 

[Baldy]

One day, the wife comes home with a spectacular diamond ring.

"Where did you get that ring?" her husband asks.

"Well, she replies, "My boss and I played the lotto and we won, so I bought it with my share of the winnings."

A week later, his wife comes home with a long shiny fur coat.

Where did you get that coat?" her husband asks.

She replies "My boss and I played the lotto and we won again, so I bought it with my share of the winnings."

Another week later, his wife comes home, driving a flaming red Ferrari,

You guessed it:

Her share of the lotto winnings....

That night, the wife asks her husband to run her a nice warm bath while she gets undressed When she enters the bathroom, she finds that there is barely enough water in the bath to cover the bath plug.

"What's this?" she asks her husband.

"Well," he replies, "We don't want to get your lotto ticket wet, do we??"

[Barman]

One day, the wife comes home with a spectacular diamond ring.

"Where did you get that ring?" her husband asks.

"Well, she replies, "My boss and I played the lotto and we won, so I bought it with my share of the winnings."

A week later, his wife comes home with a long shiny fur coat.

Where did you get that coat?" her husband asks.

She replies "My boss and I played the lotto and we won again, so I bought it with my share of the winnings."

Another week later, his wife comes home, driving a flaming red Ferrari,

You guessed it:

Her share of the lotto winnings....

That night, the wife asks her husband to run her a nice warm bath while she gets undressed When she enters the bathroom, she finds that there is barely enough water in the bath to cover the bath plug.

"What's this?" she asks her husband.

"Well," he replies, "We don't want to get your lotto ticket wet, do we??"

 

[Steve]

One day, the wife comes home with a spectacular diamond ring.

"Where did you get that ring?" her husband asks.

"Well, she replies, "My boss and I played the lotto and we won, so I bought it with my share of the winnings."

A week later, his wife comes home with a long shiny fur coat.

Where did you get that coat?" her husband asks.

She replies "My boss and I played the lotto and we won again, so I bought it with my share of the winnings."

Another week later, his wife comes home, driving a flaming red Ferrari,

You guessed it:

Her share of the lotto winnings....

That night, the wife asks her husband to run her a nice warm bath while she gets undressed When she enters the bathroom, she finds that there is barely enough water in the bath to cover the bath plug.

"What's this?" she asks her husband.

"Well," he replies, "We don't want to get your lotto ticket wet, do we??"

 

[Just One More]