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Author Topic: Hat, coat...  (Read 439895 times)

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Offline Steve

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1830 on: October 17, 2015, 10:38:22 PM »
Grammar schools...........






Distinguishing between barista and barrister since 1944...........

lol: lol: lol:
Well, whatever, nevermind

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1831 on: October 18, 2015, 05:10:42 AM »
Grammar schools...........






Distinguishing between barista and barrister since 1944...........



(sorry BM  redface: )

 lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1832 on: October 18, 2015, 09:20:38 AM »
Grammar schools...........






Distinguishing between barista and barrister since 1944...........



(sorry BM  redface: )

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
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Offline apc2010

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1833 on: October 21, 2015, 08:12:55 PM »
My wife asked me if I'd ever regretted saying something............






"I do," I replied........................


Offline Steve

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1834 on: October 21, 2015, 08:20:29 PM »
My wife asked me if I'd ever regretted saying something............






"I do," I replied........................
lol: lol: lol:
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline Just One More

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1835 on: October 29, 2015, 06:39:13 AM »
A young man walks onto the stage of Stars in their Eyes, on crutches, with a plaster cast from his feet to his hips. Matthew Kelly Introduces him as Simon.
"It's very brave of you to come out here," says Matthew. "Please tell the audience what happened."

"Well," replies Simon, "about a year ago, I was driving with my uncle when we had a really bad accident. Unfortunately my uncle was killed outright but I survived. I was trapped in the car for six hours before I was eventually cut free. The doctors had me in surgery for 12 hours but they couldn't save my legs."

"That's terrible. But I see you have legs now. Are they artificial?" asks Matthew.

"No Matthew, while I was in hospital the doctors informed me that my uncle had in fact died. But they also said that his legs were fine and, with all the advances in medical science, they could graft the bottom half of his body onto mine. As you can see the operation was successful. I have been having physiotherapy for six months and hope to be walking fully again by the end of the year."

A huge round of applause erupts from the audience. Kelly responds with, "That's an unbelievable story. So tonight, who are you going to be?"










"Tonight, Matthew, I am going to be Simon and Half uncle"
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1836 on: October 29, 2015, 06:42:26 AM »
A young man walks onto the stage of Stars in their Eyes, on crutches, with a plaster cast from his feet to his hips. Matthew Kelly Introduces him as Simon.
"It's very brave of you to come out here," says Matthew. "Please tell the audience what happened."

"Well," replies Simon, "about a year ago, I was driving with my uncle when we had a really bad accident. Unfortunately my uncle was killed outright but I survived. I was trapped in the car for six hours before I was eventually cut free. The doctors had me in surgery for 12 hours but they couldn't save my legs."

"That's terrible. But I see you have legs now. Are they artificial?" asks Matthew.

"No Matthew, while I was in hospital the doctors informed me that my uncle had in fact died. But they also said that his legs were fine and, with all the advances in medical science, they could graft the bottom half of his body onto mine. As you can see the operation was successful. I have been having physiotherapy for six months and hope to be walking fully again by the end of the year."

A huge round of applause erupts from the audience. Kelly responds with, "That's an unbelievable story. So tonight, who are you going to be?"










"Tonight, Matthew, I am going to be Simon and Half uncle"

happy001
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Offline Uncle Mort

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1837 on: October 29, 2015, 08:56:03 AM »
<groan>

Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1838 on: October 29, 2015, 09:27:17 AM »
<groan>
facepalm:

Even if it is the hat-coat thread
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Offline apc2010

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1839 on: October 29, 2015, 12:32:39 PM »
A young man walks onto the stage of Stars in their Eyes, on crutches, with a plaster cast from his feet to his hips. Matthew Kelly Introduces him as Simon.
"It's very brave of you to come out here," says Matthew. "Please tell the audience what happened."

"Well," replies Simon, "about a year ago, I was driving with my uncle when we had a really bad accident. Unfortunately my uncle was killed outright but I survived. I was trapped in the car for six hours before I was eventually cut free. The doctors had me in surgery for 12 hours but they couldn't save my legs."

"That's terrible. But I see you have legs now. Are they artificial?" asks Matthew.

"No Matthew, while I was in hospital the doctors informed me that my uncle had in fact died. But they also said that his legs were fine and, with all the advances in medical science, they could graft the bottom half of his body onto mine. As you can see the operation was successful. I have been having physiotherapy for six months and hope to be walking fully again by the end of the year."

A huge round of applause erupts from the audience. Kelly responds with, "That's an unbelievable story. So tonight, who are you going to be?"










"Tonight, Matthew, I am going to be Simon and Half uncle"

 ;D ;D ;D

Offline Steve

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1840 on: October 29, 2015, 02:29:42 PM »
A young man walks onto the stage of Stars in their Eyes, on crutches, with a plaster cast from his feet to his hips. Matthew Kelly Introduces him as Simon.
"It's very brave of you to come out here," says Matthew. "Please tell the audience what happened."

"Well," replies Simon, "about a year ago, I was driving with my uncle when we had a really bad accident. Unfortunately my uncle was killed outright but I survived. I was trapped in the car for six hours before I was eventually cut free. The doctors had me in surgery for 12 hours but they couldn't save my legs."

"That's terrible. But I see you have legs now. Are they artificial?" asks Matthew.

"No Matthew, while I was in hospital the doctors informed me that my uncle had in fact died. But they also said that his legs were fine and, with all the advances in medical science, they could graft the bottom half of his body onto mine. As you can see the operation was successful. I have been having physiotherapy for six months and hope to be walking fully again by the end of the year."

A huge round of applause erupts from the audience. Kelly responds with, "That's an unbelievable story. So tonight, who are you going to be?"










"Tonight, Matthew, I am going to be Simon and Half uncle"

happy001
happy001 happy001
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline apc2010

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1841 on: November 02, 2015, 07:52:48 PM »
So smoking will kill you...


bacon will kill you...



but smoking bacon will cure it............ rubschin:


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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1842 on: November 02, 2015, 07:59:46 PM »
So smoking will kill you...


bacon will kill you...



but smoking bacon will cure it............ rubschin:

 lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Steve

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1843 on: November 02, 2015, 08:15:52 PM »
So smoking will kill you...


bacon will kill you...



but smoking bacon will cure it............ rubschin:

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #1844 on: November 02, 2015, 08:24:29 PM »
So smoking will kill you...


bacon will kill you...



but smoking bacon will cure it............ rubschin:

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:


Punchline of the day: "But it cures kippers"
I mostly despair