I saw my ex girlfriend walking towards me in the high street today. Not wanting to stop and chat to her, I quickly pretended that I was talking on the phone.
She walked straight up to me and said, "You're just pretending to be on the phone, aren't you?"
"Hold on a moment," I said to my pretend caller. "No, I'm not. What makes you think that I'm pretending?"
"You've got your thumb in your ear and your little finger on your lip."