Disgusterous

Author Topic: Hat, coat...  (Read 438761 times)

0 Members and 3 Guests are viewing this topic.

Offline apc2010

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 66187
  • Reputation: -2
Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #2445 on: June 16, 2019, 02:42:02 PM »
A small boy named Arthur lived in the local village . None of his classmates liked him because of his stupidity, especially his teacher, who was always yelling at him "You are driving me crazy Arthur!!!!!"
One day Arthur's mother came into school to check on how he was doing. The teacher told his mother honestly, that her son is simply a disaster, getting very low marks and even she had never seen such a dumb boy in her entire teaching career!!!!
The mother was shocked at the feedback and withdrew her son from the school & even moved to another town!!!!!
25 years later, the teacher was diagnosed with an incurable cardio disease! All the doctors strongly advised her to have an open heart operation, which only one surgeon could perform...... Left with no other options, the teacher decided to have the operation, which was successful......
When she opened her eyes after the surgery she saw a handsome doctor smiling down at her! She wanted to thank him, but could not talk. Her face started to turn blue, she raised her hand, trying to tell him something but eventually died!............




The doctor was shocked and was trying to work out what went wrong,........................................................................ when he turned around he saw Arthur, working as a cleaner in the clinic, who had unplugged the oxygen equipment to connect his Hoover !!!!!





Don't tell me you thought that Arthur became a' doctor........... whistle:

Offline Barman

  • Administrator
  • Needs to get out more...
  • *****
  • Posts: 154174
  • Reputation: -50
  • Since 1960...
    • Virtual Pub!
Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #2446 on: June 16, 2019, 02:52:27 PM »
A small boy named Arthur lived in the local village . None of his classmates liked him because of his stupidity, especially his teacher, who was always yelling at him "You are driving me crazy Arthur!!!!!"
One day Arthur's mother came into school to check on how he was doing. The teacher told his mother honestly, that her son is simply a disaster, getting very low marks and even she had never seen such a dumb boy in her entire teaching career!!!!
The mother was shocked at the feedback and withdrew her son from the school & even moved to another town!!!!!
25 years later, the teacher was diagnosed with an incurable cardio disease! All the doctors strongly advised her to have an open heart operation, which only one surgeon could perform...... Left with no other options, the teacher decided to have the operation, which was successful......
When she opened her eyes after the surgery she saw a handsome doctor smiling down at her! She wanted to thank him, but could not talk. Her face started to turn blue, she raised her hand, trying to tell him something but eventually died!............




The doctor was shocked and was trying to work out what went wrong,........................................................................ when he turned around he saw Arthur, working as a cleaner in the clinic, who had unplugged the oxygen equipment to connect his Hoover !!!!!





Don't tell me you thought that Arthur became a' doctor........... whistle:

 lol: lol: lol:
Pro Skub  Thumbs:

Offline Steve

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 64159
  • Reputation: -4
Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #2447 on: June 16, 2019, 03:18:01 PM »
A small boy named Arthur lived in the local village . None of his classmates liked him because of his stupidity, especially his teacher, who was always yelling at him "You are driving me crazy Arthur!!!!!"
One day Arthur's mother came into school to check on how he was doing. The teacher told his mother honestly, that her son is simply a disaster, getting very low marks and even she had never seen such a dumb boy in her entire teaching career!!!!
The mother was shocked at the feedback and withdrew her son from the school & even moved to another town!!!!!
25 years later, the teacher was diagnosed with an incurable cardio disease! All the doctors strongly advised her to have an open heart operation, which only one surgeon could perform...... Left with no other options, the teacher decided to have the operation, which was successful......
When she opened her eyes after the surgery she saw a handsome doctor smiling down at her! She wanted to thank him, but could not talk. Her face started to turn blue, she raised her hand, trying to tell him something but eventually died!............




The doctor was shocked and was trying to work out what went wrong,........................................................................ when he turned around he saw Arthur, working as a cleaner in the clinic, who had unplugged the oxygen equipment to connect his Hoover !!!!!





Don't tell me you thought that Arthur became a' doctor........... whistle:

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline Darwins Selection

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 39138
  • Reputation: 6
  • I mostly despair
Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #2448 on: June 18, 2019, 09:08:19 AM »
A small boy named Arthur lived in the local village . None of his classmates liked him because of his stupidity, especially his teacher, who was always yelling at him "You are driving me crazy Arthur!!!!!"
One day Arthur's mother came into school to check on how he was doing. The teacher told his mother honestly, that her son is simply a disaster, getting very low marks and even she had never seen such a dumb boy in her entire teaching career!!!!
The mother was shocked at the feedback and withdrew her son from the school & even moved to another town!!!!!
25 years later, the teacher was diagnosed with an incurable cardio disease! All the doctors strongly advised her to have an open heart operation, which only one surgeon could perform...... Left with no other options, the teacher decided to have the operation, which was successful......
When she opened her eyes after the surgery she saw a handsome doctor smiling down at her! She wanted to thank him, but could not talk. Her face started to turn blue, she raised her hand, trying to tell him something but eventually died!............




The doctor was shocked and was trying to work out what went wrong,........................................................................ when he turned around he saw Arthur, working as a cleaner in the clinic, who had unplugged the oxygen equipment to connect his Hoover !!!!!





Don't tell me you thought that Arthur became a' doctor........... whistle:

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
I mostly despair

Offline apc2010

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 66187
  • Reputation: -2
Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #2449 on: June 18, 2019, 12:07:02 PM »
Paddy runs in to the pub and shouts to Mick....

"some bastard just stole your car !! "

Mick.." Did you see who did it ??"..




Paddy .." No but I got the registration number ... Thumbs:  ".........





 redface: redface:

Offline Barman

  • Administrator
  • Needs to get out more...
  • *****
  • Posts: 154174
  • Reputation: -50
  • Since 1960...
    • Virtual Pub!
Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #2450 on: June 18, 2019, 12:10:18 PM »
Paddy runs in to the pub and shouts to Mick....

"some bastard just stole your car !! "

Mick.." Did you see who did it ??"..




Paddy .." No but I got the registration number ... Thumbs:  ".........





 redface: redface:

 lol: lol: lol:
Pro Skub  Thumbs:

Offline Steve

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 64159
  • Reputation: -4
Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #2451 on: June 18, 2019, 12:55:28 PM »
Paddy runs in to the pub and shouts to Mick....

"some bastard just stole your car !! "

Mick.." Did you see who did it ??"..




Paddy .." No but I got the registration number ... Thumbs:  ".........





 redface: redface:

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline Darwins Selection

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 39138
  • Reputation: 6
  • I mostly despair
Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #2452 on: June 18, 2019, 11:09:26 PM »
Paddy runs in to the pub and shouts to Mick....

"some bastard just stole your car !! "

Mick.." Did you see who did it ??"..




Paddy .." No but I got the registration number ... Thumbs:  ".........





 redface: redface:

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
I mostly despair

Offline apc2010

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 66187
  • Reputation: -2
Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #2453 on: June 27, 2019, 02:58:48 PM »
"How many women can a man marry?"...............

With all confidence, the boy answered immediately saying sixteen................




His cousin was amazed at how quick he got the answer and asked him how he arrived at it................

The sharp boy then replied, saying:.....................





"Easy. All you have to do is add it up like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer.".......................




 redface: redface:

Offline Barman

  • Administrator
  • Needs to get out more...
  • *****
  • Posts: 154174
  • Reputation: -50
  • Since 1960...
    • Virtual Pub!
Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #2454 on: June 27, 2019, 03:02:17 PM »
"How many women can a man marry?"...............

With all confidence, the boy answered immediately saying sixteen................




His cousin was amazed at how quick he got the answer and asked him how he arrived at it................

The sharp boy then replied, saying:.....................





"Easy. All you have to do is add it up like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer.".......................




 redface: redface:

Opening the Christmas crackers early...?  noooo:
Pro Skub  Thumbs:

Offline apc2010

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 66187
  • Reputation: -2
Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #2455 on: June 27, 2019, 03:09:44 PM »
"How many women can a man marry?"...............

With all confidence, the boy answered immediately saying sixteen................




His cousin was amazed at how quick he got the answer and asked him how he arrived at it................

The sharp boy then replied, saying:.....................





"Easy. All you have to do is add it up like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer.".......................




 redface: redface:

Opening the Christmas crackers early...?  noooo:

Anything with the word "wedding" in ..is on my newsfeed ........ redface:

Offline Barman

  • Administrator
  • Needs to get out more...
  • *****
  • Posts: 154174
  • Reputation: -50
  • Since 1960...
    • Virtual Pub!
Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #2456 on: June 27, 2019, 03:22:21 PM »
"How many women can a man marry?"...............

With all confidence, the boy answered immediately saying sixteen................




His cousin was amazed at how quick he got the answer and asked him how he arrived at it................

The sharp boy then replied, saying:.....................





"Easy. All you have to do is add it up like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer.".......................




 redface: redface:

Opening the Christmas crackers early...?  noooo:

Anything with the word "wedding" in ..is on my newsfeed ........ redface:

facepalm:
Pro Skub  Thumbs:

Offline Darwins Selection

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 39138
  • Reputation: 6
  • I mostly despair
Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #2457 on: June 27, 2019, 07:19:23 PM »
"How many women can a man marry?"...............

With all confidence, the boy answered immediately saying sixteen................




His cousin was amazed at how quick he got the answer and asked him how he arrived at it................

The sharp boy then replied, saying:.....................





"Easy. All you have to do is add it up like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer.".......................




 redface: redface:

Opening the Christmas crackers early...?  noooo:

Anything with the word "wedding" in ..is on my newsfeed ........ redface:
"Fed up with wedding by hand? Try Glyphosate"
I mostly despair

Offline Barman

  • Administrator
  • Needs to get out more...
  • *****
  • Posts: 154174
  • Reputation: -50
  • Since 1960...
    • Virtual Pub!
Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #2458 on: June 28, 2019, 03:46:52 AM »
"How many women can a man marry?"...............

With all confidence, the boy answered immediately saying sixteen................




His cousin was amazed at how quick he got the answer and asked him how he arrived at it................

The sharp boy then replied, saying:.....................





"Easy. All you have to do is add it up like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer.".......................




 redface: redface:

Opening the Christmas crackers early...?  noooo:

Anything with the word "wedding" in ..is on my newsfeed ........ redface:
"Fed up with wedding by hand? Try Glyphosate"

 lol: lol: lol:
Pro Skub  Thumbs:

Offline apc2010

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 66187
  • Reputation: -2
Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #2459 on: July 03, 2019, 09:26:18 PM »
I've been havin real problems with nuisance phone calls today .................. evil:





The most common one is: "You said you'd be home from the pub three fuckin hours ago!"


 redface: