Author Topic: Hat, coat...  (Read 439901 times)

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Online Barman

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #2850 on: January 19, 2020, 08:01:29 AM »
Have you noticed how many F1 drivers have names linked to Scottish towns?..




Stirling Moss, Lewis Hamilton, Eddie Irvine.......Ayr Town Centre... redface:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #2851 on: January 21, 2020, 01:53:39 AM »
Have you noticed how many F1 drivers have names linked to Scottish towns?..




Stirling Moss, Lewis Hamilton, Eddie Irvine.......Ayr Town Centre... redface:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
I mostly despair

Offline apc2010

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #2852 on: January 23, 2020, 10:02:35 AM »
Apparently if your girlfriend or wife ever says "if anything happens to me, I want you to meet someone new"............... Thumbs:





"anything" doesn't include getting stuck in traffic....... noooo:

Online Barman

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #2853 on: January 23, 2020, 10:59:41 AM »
Apparently if your girlfriend or wife ever says "if anything happens to me, I want you to meet someone new"............... Thumbs:





"anything" doesn't include getting stuck in traffic....... noooo:


happy001
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Offline Steve

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #2854 on: January 23, 2020, 12:56:18 PM »
Apparently if your girlfriend or wife ever says "if anything happens to me, I want you to meet someone new"............... Thumbs:





"anything" doesn't include getting stuck in traffic....... noooo:


happy001
lol: lol: lol:
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline Just One More

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #2855 on: January 23, 2020, 07:59:44 PM »
Apparently if your girlfriend or wife ever says "if anything happens to me, I want you to meet someone new"............... Thumbs:





"anything" doesn't include getting stuck in traffic....... noooo:


happy001
lol: lol: lol:

lol: lol: lol: lol:
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #2856 on: January 23, 2020, 11:16:20 PM »
Apparently if your girlfriend or wife ever says "if anything happens to me, I want you to meet someone new"............... Thumbs:





"anything" doesn't include getting stuck in traffic....... noooo:


happy001
lol: lol: lol:

lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
I mostly despair

Offline Steve

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #2857 on: January 25, 2020, 02:11:23 PM »
A guy went into a French seafood restaurant and asked to see the dishes of the day.
The waiter wheeled over a trolley with a large tank full of various species, and the man examined the dishes.
"I'll have the little green squid with the hairy lip, please" said the man. "An excellent choice, they have a delicate, mild flavour." replied the waiter and called out "Gervais!"
A little French chef appeared with a large knife, the waiter instructed the chef to kill the little green squid with the hairy lip. Gervais was just about to slice at the poor squid when he noticed a tear running down its face. Gervais is touched, and admitted that he hadn't the heart to kill the squid.
"Not to worry" says the waiter, and called out "Hans!!" at which an enormous German bloke came out of the kitchen. "Sir", said the waiter, "This is Hans, the dishwasher. Hans kill that little green squid with the hairy lip!"
The dishwasher wielded a huge rolling pin and was just about to bludgeon the little green squid with the hairy lip when it cringed back and gave a little cry. "I am sorry sir, I just cannot kill the squid" Hans admitted, his lower lip trembling.
"Well sir," said the waiter, "it just shows......
That Hans that do dishes, can be soft as Gervais, with mild green, hairy lip squid!".

I'll get me coat.
Well, whatever, nevermind

Online Barman

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #2858 on: January 25, 2020, 02:19:21 PM »
A guy went into a French seafood restaurant and asked to see the dishes of the day.
The waiter wheeled over a trolley with a large tank full of various species, and the man examined the dishes.
"I'll have the little green squid with the hairy lip, please" said the man. "An excellent choice, they have a delicate, mild flavour." replied the waiter and called out "Gervais!"
A little French chef appeared with a large knife, the waiter instructed the chef to kill the little green squid with the hairy lip. Gervais was just about to slice at the poor squid when he noticed a tear running down its face. Gervais is touched, and admitted that he hadn't the heart to kill the squid.
"Not to worry" says the waiter, and called out "Hans!!" at which an enormous German bloke came out of the kitchen. "Sir", said the waiter, "This is Hans, the dishwasher. Hans kill that little green squid with the hairy lip!"
The dishwasher wielded a huge rolling pin and was just about to bludgeon the little green squid with the hairy lip when it cringed back and gave a little cry. "I am sorry sir, I just cannot kill the squid" Hans admitted, his lower lip trembling.
"Well sir," said the waiter, "it just shows......
That Hans that do dishes, can be soft as Gervais, with mild green, hairy lip squid!".

I'll get me coat.

I can't believe we haven't had that one on here before...  rubschin:
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Offline Steve

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #2859 on: January 25, 2020, 02:32:57 PM »
A guy went into a French seafood restaurant and asked to see the dishes of the day.
The waiter wheeled over a trolley with a large tank full of various species, and the man examined the dishes.
"I'll have the little green squid with the hairy lip, please" said the man. "An excellent choice, they have a delicate, mild flavour." replied the waiter and called out "Gervais!"
A little French chef appeared with a large knife, the waiter instructed the chef to kill the little green squid with the hairy lip. Gervais was just about to slice at the poor squid when he noticed a tear running down its face. Gervais is touched, and admitted that he hadn't the heart to kill the squid.
"Not to worry" says the waiter, and called out "Hans!!" at which an enormous German bloke came out of the kitchen. "Sir", said the waiter, "This is Hans, the dishwasher. Hans kill that little green squid with the hairy lip!"
The dishwasher wielded a huge rolling pin and was just about to bludgeon the little green squid with the hairy lip when it cringed back and gave a little cry. "I am sorry sir, I just cannot kill the squid" Hans admitted, his lower lip trembling.
"Well sir," said the waiter, "it just shows......
That Hans that do dishes, can be soft as Gervais, with mild green, hairy lip squid!".

I'll get me coat.

I can't believe we haven't had that one on here before...  rubschin:
angel1   same here but I checked and seems not
Well, whatever, nevermind

Online Barman

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #2860 on: January 25, 2020, 02:48:23 PM »
A guy went into a French seafood restaurant and asked to see the dishes of the day.
The waiter wheeled over a trolley with a large tank full of various species, and the man examined the dishes.
"I'll have the little green squid with the hairy lip, please" said the man. "An excellent choice, they have a delicate, mild flavour." replied the waiter and called out "Gervais!"
A little French chef appeared with a large knife, the waiter instructed the chef to kill the little green squid with the hairy lip. Gervais was just about to slice at the poor squid when he noticed a tear running down its face. Gervais is touched, and admitted that he hadn't the heart to kill the squid.
"Not to worry" says the waiter, and called out "Hans!!" at which an enormous German bloke came out of the kitchen. "Sir", said the waiter, "This is Hans, the dishwasher. Hans kill that little green squid with the hairy lip!"
The dishwasher wielded a huge rolling pin and was just about to bludgeon the little green squid with the hairy lip when it cringed back and gave a little cry. "I am sorry sir, I just cannot kill the squid" Hans admitted, his lower lip trembling.
"Well sir," said the waiter, "it just shows......
That Hans that do dishes, can be soft as Gervais, with mild green, hairy lip squid!".

I'll get me coat.

I can't believe we haven't had that one on here before...  rubschin:
angel1   same here but I checked and seems not

Search engine could be buggerated...?  rubschin:
Pro Skub  Thumbs:

Offline Steve

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #2861 on: January 25, 2020, 02:58:02 PM »
A guy went into a French seafood restaurant and asked to see the dishes of the day.
The waiter wheeled over a trolley with a large tank full of various species, and the man examined the dishes.
"I'll have the little green squid with the hairy lip, please" said the man. "An excellent choice, they have a delicate, mild flavour." replied the waiter and called out "Gervais!"
A little French chef appeared with a large knife, the waiter instructed the chef to kill the little green squid with the hairy lip. Gervais was just about to slice at the poor squid when he noticed a tear running down its face. Gervais is touched, and admitted that he hadn't the heart to kill the squid.
"Not to worry" says the waiter, and called out "Hans!!" at which an enormous German bloke came out of the kitchen. "Sir", said the waiter, "This is Hans, the dishwasher. Hans kill that little green squid with the hairy lip!"
The dishwasher wielded a huge rolling pin and was just about to bludgeon the little green squid with the hairy lip when it cringed back and gave a little cry. "I am sorry sir, I just cannot kill the squid" Hans admitted, his lower lip trembling.
"Well sir," said the waiter, "it just shows......
That Hans that do dishes, can be soft as Gervais, with mild green, hairy lip squid!".

I'll get me coat.

I can't believe we haven't had that one on here before...  rubschin:
angel1   same here but I checked and seems not

Search engine could be buggerated...?  rubschin:
I'll let some other mug manually look through the 668,727 posts then and if I'm still alive when/if they find it's an Affs I'll say soz

Seems a fair offer
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline apc2010

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #2862 on: January 25, 2020, 08:10:16 PM »
I'm holding a joint party for Chinese New Year and Burns night tonight called Chinese-Burns night................






..... I wasn't keen at first but I had my arm twisted............. whistle:

Offline Steve

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #2863 on: January 25, 2020, 09:41:12 PM »
I'm holding a joint party for Chinese New Year and Burns night tonight called Chinese-Burns night................






..... I wasn't keen at first but I had my arm twisted............. whistle:
lol:
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline apc2010

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Re: Hat, coat...
« Reply #2864 on: January 25, 2020, 11:22:49 PM »
I went to a pub yesterday evening and ordered a pint. As the landlord put my drink down, I asked him for the wifi code as I needed to check a message.

"Oh no" he said, "No wifi in here, people used to sit talking in pubs, about their day, their families, work, politics, music, the lot. Now people just stare at their phones and it breaks my heart to see. Therefore, no wifi in this pub."

"You know what?" I replied, "You're right" and I put my phone away. "Thank you", the landlord said "In this pub I want you to act as you would twenty years ago".

So I lit a cigarette, gave him 50p for the pint and said "Two can play at that game mate."...................... Thumbs: