Hat, coat...

[Barman]

I've got an annoying habit of quoting Elton John lyrics............





I hope you don't mind. I hope you don't mind..............

[Barman]

If a child is transgender ..........


Is the parent transparent ..........

[Steve]

Is it ignorance or apathy that's destroying the world today?

I don't know and don't really care.

[apc2010]

I looked out of my window last night and saw a group of people gathering around a poor Asian guy who'd fallen off his moped....



I frantically rushed over................
"Out of the way!" I yelled as I pushed through the crowd a woman asked,....


"Are you a doctor?".........




"No" I replied."That's my fucking pizza "..............

[Barman]

I looked out of my window last night and saw a group of people gathering around a poor Asian guy who'd fallen off his moped....



I frantically rushed over................
"Out of the way!" I yelled as I pushed through the crowd a woman asked,....


"Are you a doctor?".........




"No" I replied."That's my fucking pizza "..............

 

[Steve]

Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the same day, and both go before an Angel to find out if they'll be admitted to Heaven.
Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day.
So the Angel must decide which of them gets in.
The Angel asks Dolly if there's some particular reason why she should go to Heaven.
Dolly takes off her top and says, "Look at these, they're the most perfect breasts God ever created, and I'm sure it will please God to be able to see them every day, for eternity".
The Angel thanks Dolly and asks Her Majesty the same question.
The Queen takes a bottle of Perrier out of her purse, and drinks it down.
Then, pees into a toilet and pulls the lever.
The Angel says, "ok, your Majesty, you may go in."
Dolly is outraged and asked, "What was that all about?
I show you two of God's own perfect creations and you turn me down.
She pees into a toilet and she gets in!
Would you explain that to me?"
"Sorry, Dolly says the Angel, but even in Heaven,
A Royal Flush Beats a Pair No Matter How Big They Are".

[Barman]

Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the same day, and both go before an Angel to find out if they'll be admitted to Heaven.
Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day.
So the Angel must decide which of them gets in.
The Angel asks Dolly if there's some particular reason why she should go to Heaven.
Dolly takes off her top and says, "Look at these, they're the most perfect breasts God ever created, and I'm sure it will please God to be able to see them every day, for eternity".
The Angel thanks Dolly and asks Her Majesty the same question.
The Queen takes a bottle of Perrier out of her purse, and drinks it down.
Then, pees into a toilet and pulls the lever.
The Angel says, "ok, your Majesty, you may go in."
Dolly is outraged and asked, "What was that all about?
I show you two of God's own perfect creations and you turn me down.
She pees into a toilet and she gets in!
Would you explain that to me?"
"Sorry, Dolly says the Angel, but even in Heaven,
A Royal Flush Beats a Pair No Matter How Big They Are".

 

[Steve]

Two fish are in a tank, one says to the other,

"how do you drive this thing?"

[apc2010]

My fear of moving stairs is escalating ........

[Steve]

My fear of moving stairs is escalating ........

[Barman]

My fear of moving stairs is escalating ........

 

[apc2010]

I went to a really interesting lecture on kleptomania.............



 
I took a lot from it.............

[Barman]

I went to a really interesting lecture on kleptomania.............



 
I took a lot from it.............

  

[Barman]

[Steve]

I went to a really interesting lecture on kleptomania.............



 
I took a lot from it.............