When I had a pub I discovered that Pork Scratchings are "Cooked meats" and thus subject to VAT. Had a hell of a row with a VAT inspector because we did not ring Scratchings up on a separate button on the till and thus account for the VAT. As I pointed out in my usual conciliatory manner. It would cost me £500 for a new till. I sold, on average, a card (24 packs) of Scratchings a month. Where was the f*cking logic in his request that I get a new till to account for that? He left in a huff to seek further advice and two of the b@st@rds came back the following week when I solved the problem by ripping the card of Scratchings off the wall and throwing them in the bin. They left. I took the Scratchings out of the bin and put them back on the wall.
Dickheads!