They ask me to confirm my telephone number, then I say "Tell me what you think it is and I'll confirm whether you have it right."
Repeat above for date of Birth
Repeat above for Mother's maiden name
I then ask for supervisor and suggest that they train their staff in the difference between "Confirm" and "Tell me in order that I may confirm against the records we hold".
Arseholes the lot of them ~ except the one Asian lad who immediately grasped what I was saying and agreed that it was indeed sloppy English. That Building Society still gets my custom for all banking matters ~ that cannot be dealt with by the bank of the loose floorboard (still my favourite) ~ as I have his name and direct dial number. The rest can go hang.