Teenage daughters

[Snoopy]

 

Thank you all ~ I feel much better now.

[Barman]

She broke the camera... 

[Miss Demeanour]

She's not going to college and will be staying at home for a few more years 

[Snoopy]

No ~ just me coming to terms that I have lived on this earth for 62 years and apparently know nothing.

In fact the combined ages of her mother and me comes to 112 years and all that experience is nothing compared to the superior brainpower and accumulated knowledge of a 16 year old.

Frankly I can no longer be bothered and the sooner someone puts her up the duff and she leaves home the better!   

[Miss Demeanour]

The human teenager is the most feared creature on the face of the earth. The manner in which they dress, the things they say and the beasts they call friends will cause even the most easy-going adult to seek therapy. The human teenager lives in cities, suburbs and even in remote rural areas. Teenagers tend to feed at fast food restaurants and graze in packs at shopping malls.

Here are some characteristics of this ferocious and misunderstood creature:

Teenagers need a constant supply of money to survive. They are always asking for a “twenty.” When faced with this situation the adult must be strong and recommend a part-time job or chores around the house.

Teenagers have some mysterious friends that you never see but they are always conversing with by text on their cell phones. It is impossible to supervise these conversations so you must once again push the part-time employment to pay for all those text messages.

Teenagers think that they are the only resident of your “castle” and make themselves known by throwing their shoes and backpacks everywhere. Their bedrooms are frightening pits of pure terror. It is very dangerous to attempt any kind of investigation of their lairs since you cannot see the floor and you do not know what lurks beneath the debris.

Teenagers know everything! You cannot tell a teen anything new as they have the knowledge and experience of an 80 year old human living inside their adolescent bodies.

Teenagers are nocturnal. Something happens to their internal clock when they hit the age of 13. Suddenly the most exhausted teen during the day is wide awake and ready to party at night. Be aware also that teenagers do not wake up easily on school days and sleep until noon on weekends. Scientists do not understand how this happens to your once 8PM bedtime loving precious child.

Teenagers love only one thing more than their unusual friends. This is the family car. They are attracted to a car like bees are to honey. As soon as they have their driver's license they will be out and about testing their independence.


Teenagers are exhausting and you will find yourself a bit more tired with their drama and late nights. Suggest community service to get them out of your hair and do something good for others.

Teenagers are obsessed with the mirror. Female teenagers especially will spend incredible amounts of quality time in front of a mirror preening themselves.

Teenagers have a different sense of fashion than you do. But remind your teen that covered bodies are far sexier than the midriff look. Also baggy shorts still belong on the bottom and not the thighs.

Teenagers are horrified to be seen in public with anyone over the age of 21. They go shopping reluctantly only because you hold the credit card and they quickly ditch you in the store. Don't take this personally they will like you more once they reach the grand old age of 20.

[Nick]

No ~ just me coming to terms that I have lived on this earth for 62 years and apparently know nothing.

In fact the combined ages of her mother and me comes to 112 years and all that experience is nothing compared to the superior brainpower and accumulated knowledge of a 16 year old.

Frankly I can no longer be bothered and the sooner someone puts her up the duff and she leaves home the better!   

We have a 10 year old who is the same. I could keeeeeeeell him. We have worse to come. I have just been into his room 

I expect they will grow up eventually 

[Landlady]

All those statements are very amusing and also true Miss D ............... remember those angsty years our darling Miss Piggy went through very well  

Miss P had a particular way of raising one eyebrow when being spoken to by us parents that used to drive me TOTALLY insane  

It is the teenager equivalent of being given the proverbial finger I believe  

Anyway's you both (Miss D and dearest Snoopy) - try and stay calm and remember that they do (eventually) return to lovely wonderful human beings that will (hopefully) be there to look after you (wiping up spittle and cleaning bottoms for us) in older age..........that is hopefully our sweet revenge  

[Nick]

Were you two ever teenagers? I was but I was  

Boys just smell more. No change there then

[Nick]

No ~ just me coming to terms that I have lived on this earth for 62 years and apparently know nothing.

In fact the combined ages of her mother and me comes to 112 years and all that experience is nothing compared to the superior brainpower and accumulated knowledge of a 16 year old.

Frankly I can no longer be bothered and the sooner someone puts her up the duff and she leaves home the better!   

But can she find her shirt?

[Landlady]

Were you two ever teenagers? I was but I was  

Boys just smell more. No change there then

Of course I was a teenager (a while ago) and if Miss P is correct am heading back the same way now (ie: senility creeping in)..

I wasn't an  but I was, what in my day would have been called a SCAMP 

Not sure that boy's dooooooooooooooooo smell more - generally have more spots though

[Snoopy]

That'll be the shirt that is inside out, under a wet towel, under her bed along with dirty knickers, pop socks, shoes, 5 coffee cups. The shirt now growing mould in fact!

She has no idea where it is  

[Nick]

Were you two ever teenagers? I was but I was  

Boys just smell more. No change there then

Of course I was a teenager (a while ago) and if Miss P is correct am heading back the same way now (ie: senility creeping in)..

I wasn't an   but I was, what in my day would have been called a SCAMP  

Not sure that boy's dooooooooooooooooo smell more - generally have more spots though

Truth be told I was horrid, but I can't see that from my parents' perspective. My consolation is that my sisters were worse  

The Boy (11 shortly) is shaping up to be a complete bastardo 

He knows everything 

I may make him cook his own dinner this evening 

[The Moan Ranger]

I was 

Apart from writing off the washing machine...

[Nick]

 

[The Moan Ranger]

It was in the garage, along with the Morris Marina 1.3 Coupe I was going to drive when I got my licence.

Anyhooooo...as a bit of "practice", when I was 14, I used to reverse the Marina in and out of the garage, only I got it a bit wrong and hit the accelerator, rather than the brake. The washing machine ended up an extremely slimline model. The Marina was fine.

I wasn't popular.