Mrs Nick e mails me a joke

[Nick]

A thief in  Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre.


After  careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings, and
made it safely to his van.

However, he was captured only two streets away when his van ran out of gas.

When asked how he could mastermind such a  crime and then make such an
obvious error, he replied, 'Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the paintings.


       I had no Monet



      to buy Degas



to make the Van Gogh.'

Laugh? I thought I'd never start. 

[Barman]

 

[Snoopy]

At least she is speaking to at you 

[Nick]

It is quite hard to argue via e mail

[Barman]

When somebody calls the toilet a 'bathroom', is that a loophemism...? 

[Nick]

 

[Snoopy]

Largely depends on your definition of toilet.

To many it means to wash or bathe.

[Nick]

I am too big to fit into ours. It would make showering a lot quicker if I could

[Snoopy]

It is quite hard to argue via e mail

My ex-wife had to have an operation on her vocal chords (very nasty actually) but the up side was that she was not allowed to speak for 6 weeks.
She used to row with me in writing

USING VERY BIG LETTERS! to shout like

[Nick]

Did you reply using a megaphone?

[Snoopy]

No ~ I just kept misplacing my glasses until she gave up ~ she used to throw things to attract my attention, ashtrays and stuff like that. Anything heavy in fact.