Wading through treacle

[Miss Demeanour]

I am trying to resolve an official complaint against our service and write a reponse to the Ombudsmen today .

The person in question is barking and has written 20  letters in the past 2 weeks.

I am trying, really trying , to understand what it is he is complaining about but I have  about 50  pages to wade through which are written like this :

There is no sign of amelioration in this flat, whatsoever. There is no response to my pressing predicaments. This is not a salutory reminder, but epitome, an apercu of my frustrations. I enunciate that, this wasn't a harmonious , resplendent experience. The more strenously I have tried for concord, the more abysmally I have faced discord.

I hope parties involved would remain non - partisan and profesional in the spirit of freedom of expressions and seeking justice. As it is evident , I do not seek in any friends but truth and justice..... and so it goes on  
WTF  

[Nick]

Have him sectioned?

[Miss Demeanour]

If only .....he has requested we DNA a mouse he has caught 

[Nick]

Present all his evidence to Ombudsman and write a crisp response yerself.

Um, what exactly is his complaint?

[Miss Demeanour]

Maladministration  

In other words we haven't done what he wants in a week and are not providing compensation for his stress and expenses incurred and his Landlord has issued eviction proceedings  

[Nick]

Why is he being evicted?

[Uncle Mort]

Present all his evidence to Ombudsman and write a crisp response yerself.

Um, what exactly is his complaint?

sesquipedalianism

[Uncle Mort]

Maladministration  

In other words we haven't done what he wants in a week and are not providing compensation for his stress and expenses incurred and his Landlord has issued eviction proceedings  

Tell him to fuck off.

[Miss Demeanour]

Why is he being evicted?

He was only on a 6 month  tenancy agreement - his 6 months are up - he doesn't want to leave

[Nick]

So why is he being thrown out?

[Snoopy]

Then he can sit tight and force his landlord to obtain a court order for his eviction. That will gain him three months respite BUT will ultimately cost him large amounts of wonga 'cos the court will award costs to the Landlord.

Is he .....errrr......... Tinted?

[Nick]

I have West African in my mind for some reason 

[Snoopy]

I know this is contentious and probably illegal but never the less ~ If there is one thing that worries me more than a Nigerian with a gun it is a Nigerian with an education. I have been taught how to disarm someone waving a gun around (easiest method is shoot the b@st@rd) but when they start bandying words and spouting about their rights I just have to walk away.

[Miss Demeanour]

of Middle Eastern persuasion 

[Nick]

I was thinking Scouser. Latterly.

Israeli then? They are all bonkers