UM, Happy Birthday The Boy

[Nick]

11.

Mrs Nick went to the new skool parents' evening last night. We shall have to mortgage the house to get the uniform and all the effing equipmen he needs.

A dentist comes in and measures The Boy and each Other Boy for a bespoke gum shield.  

?28  

[Barman]

That'll be for the you told us about then! 

[Nick]

He'd have to wear it all the time.   How would he ever learn to speak Chinese, like?

[Snoopy]

Do say Happy Birthday from the Boys in North Wales.

[Barman]

He'd have to wear it all the time.   How would he ever learn to speak Chinese, like?

Can't he just read out the numbers like the rest of us...? 

[Nick]

 

[Nick]

I have just discovered one of his presents. 

http://www.klutz.com/catalog/product/7500

It is a kind of compendium of practical jokes. I see it has been well thumbed already. 

http://www.klutz.com/video/#3

[Snoopy]

Are you sure it was meant for him and not an early Christmas Pressy for you?

The ultimate how-not-to-grow-up guide. The Encyclopedia of Immaturity

[Nick]

He has just been sent home from skool for fighting 

Three days 

[Snoopy]

Well he didn't fight with himself ~ so what about the other participant(s) in the fracas? Was he/she also suspended? If not why not. And whose fault was it, who started the fight and how? You can't expect The Boy not to defend himself.

[Nick]

Unprovoked assault. Victim has teeth marks

[Snoopy]

I take that to mean the The Boy has too much honour to say what made him strike out. Name calling or summat I 'spect.
Even The Boy doesn't just bite people for no good reason (or at least what he would consider a good reason) meanwhile the bitten one is keeping quiet about his part in the episode.

Minimus was once in a great deal of trouble at school for biting someone but it took another kid to come forward and tell the teachers that the bitten one had been provoking Minimus all week with name calling etc and had then wrapped his arm around Minimus's face trying for a headlock. At that point the teeth came into play.
But Minimus would not say why he had done it "cos I don't want to get him into trouble" and the bitten one just sat and howled for his mummy.

Kids never cease to astonish me with their strange (to us) moral code.

[Nick]

An investigation is under way. A blood stained shirt is in the wash. The Boy is reading. We see teh (very good) Head tomorrow to get to the bottom of it. Other Boy also sent home.