Fantastic Headlines

[Barman]

Eight million gallons of water drained from reservoir after man urinates in it

The world has gone completely mad... 

[Miss Demeanour]

Letting the water pass you by

[Just One More]

water flowing underground 

[Barman]

 

[barmisspah?]

Eight million gallons of water drained from reservoir after man urinates in it

The world has gone completely mad... 

So let me get this right.
The reservoir is open air, it presumably has fish in it, fish that swim, eat & crap.
Presumably there are also animals nearby who would drink from it, swim in it & crap in it.
They then send it direct to the population of Portland without it going through any form of
'cleaning' process whatsoever ?

[Barman]

Eight million gallons of water drained from reservoir after man urinates in it

The world has gone completely mad... 

So let me get this right.
The reservoir is open air, it presumably has fish in it, fish that swim, eat & crap.
Presumably there are also animals nearby who would drink from it, swim in it & crap in it.
They then send it direct to the population of Portland without it going through any form of
'cleaning' process whatsoever ?

I think you've hit the nail on the head... they're taking the piss... 

[Pastis]

Or, more correctly, not taking the piss

[Miss Demeanour]

Council bosses have admitted scoring an "own goal" after a fence was built through the middle of football goalposts in a park in York.

The new fencing was installed at a cost of £6,000 on playing fields in Heworth.

It was erected before £37,000 worth of new play equipment is phased in at the park over the next few weeks.

Dave Meigh, City of York Council's head of parks and open spaces, said: "We recognise that the failure to relocate the goalposts is a real own goal


Unbelievable 

[Pirate]

Council bosses have admitted scoring an "own goal" after a fence was built through the middle of football goalposts in a park in York.

The new fencing was installed at a cost of £6,000 on playing fields in Heworth.

It was erected before £37,000 worth of new play equipment is phased in at the park over the next few weeks.

Dave Meigh, City of York Council's head of parks and open spaces, said: "We recognise that the failure to relocate the goalposts is a real own goal


Unbelievable 

Does that mean if you are the other side of the fence, you are offside?

Anyhooo...talking of offside...

offside rule

[Grumpmeister]

Council bosses have admitted scoring an "own goal" after a fence was built through the middle of football goalposts in a park in York.

The new fencing was installed at a cost of £6,000 on playing fields in Heworth.

It was erected before £37,000 worth of new play equipment is phased in at the park over the next few weeks.

Dave Meigh, City of York Council's head of parks and open spaces, said: "We recognise that the failure to relocate the goalposts is a real own goal


Unbelievable 

Isn't Nick doing contract work for local government? 

[Grumpmeister]

37 years without washing   

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2007220/Kailash-Singh-The-farm-worker-washed-37-years.html

 

[Baldy]

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/crime/8596854/I-was-secret-5000-a-time-prostitute-claims-clerk-on-theft-charge.html

Apart from Mr Rooney I am not sure who would spend the money.

[Pastis]

It must be the sunglasses 

I just can't tell the difference when they both wear sunglasses 

[Baldy]

It must be the sunglasses 

I just can't tell the difference when they both wear sunglasses 

  Exactly Mr P

[apc2010]

A WOMAN has died of heart failure caused by the shock of waking up at her own funeral.


http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3656099/Wife-dies-after-she-wakes-up-at-funeral.html