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Author Topic: Fantastic Headlines  (Read 1053393 times)

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Offline Uncle Mort

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Re: Fantastic Headlines
« Reply #3270 on: June 17, 2013, 08:33:43 PM »
Just don't take an sharp intake of breath if you see it and you'll be OK.  :thumbsup:

Offline Barman

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Re: Fantastic Headlines
« Reply #3271 on: June 17, 2013, 08:35:11 PM »
So somewhere wandering around Cardiff there is at least one 7inch asbestos filled tarantula...  eeek:

http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/local-news/asbestos-contaminated-tarantula-could-loose-cardiff-2512916

They should nuke Cardiff just in case like....  whistle:
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Offline Grumpmeister

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Re: Fantastic Headlines
« Reply #3272 on: June 17, 2013, 08:36:43 PM »
Rule 37 BM?  rubschin:
« Last Edit: June 17, 2013, 08:38:37 PM by Grumpmeister »
The universe is run by the complex interweaving of three elements. Energy, matter, and enlightened self-interest.

Offline Baldy

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Re: Fantastic Headlines
« Reply #3273 on: June 17, 2013, 08:37:33 PM »
So somewhere wandering around Cardiff there is at least one 7inch asbestos filled tarantula...  eeek:

http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/local-news/asbestos-contaminated-tarantula-could-loose-cardiff-2512916

They should nuke Cardiff just in case like....  whistle:
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Offline Nick

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Offline Barman

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Offline Barman

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Re: Fantastic Headlines
« Reply #3278 on: June 19, 2013, 12:39:19 PM »
When it comes to climate change, we have to trust our scientists, because they know lots of big scary words

Quote
First, I asked Stephen Belcher, the head of the Met Office Hadley Centre, whether the recent extended winter was related to global warming. Shaking his famous “ghost stick”, and fingering his trademark necklace of sharks’ teeth and mammoth bones, the loin-clothed Belcher blew smoke into a conch, and replied,

“Here come de heap big warmy. Bigtime warmy warmy. Is big big hot. Plenty big warm burny hot. Hot! Hot hot! But now not hot. Not hot now. De hot come go, come go. Now Is Coldy Coldy. Is ice. Hot den cold. Frreeeezy ice til hot again. Den de rain. It faaaalllll. Make pasty.”

happy001

Quote
When pressed on the particular outlook for the British Isles. Professor Sutton shook his head, moaned eerily unto the heavens, and stuffed his fingers into the entrails of a recently disembowelled chicken, bought fresh from Waitrose in Teignmouth.

Hurling the still-beating heart of the chicken into a shallow copper salver, Professor Sutton inhaled the aroma of burning incense, then told the Telegraph: “The seven towers of Agamemnon tremble. Much is the discord in the latitude of Gemini. When, when cry the sirens of doom and love. Speckly showers on Tuesday.”

happy002

Quote
So who are we to believe? For a final word, I turned to the greatest climate change scientist of all, Dr David Viner, one-time senior research scientist at the climatic research unit of the University of East Anglia, who predicted in 2000 that, within a few years, winter snowfall would become "a very rare and exciting event".

However, he was trapped under a glacier in Stockport, so was unable to comment at the time the Telegraph went to press.

 lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Nick

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Re: Fantastic Headlines
« Reply #3279 on: June 19, 2013, 12:41:03 PM »
 :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
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Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Fantastic Headlines
« Reply #3280 on: June 19, 2013, 12:41:48 PM »
When it comes to climate change, we have to trust our scientists, because they know lots of big scary words

Quote
First, I asked Stephen Belcher, the head of the Met Office Hadley Centre, whether the recent extended winter was related to global warming. Shaking his famous “ghost stick”, and fingering his trademark necklace of sharks’ teeth and mammoth bones, the loin-clothed Belcher blew smoke into a conch, and replied,

“Here come de heap big warmy. Bigtime warmy warmy. Is big big hot. Plenty big warm burny hot. Hot! Hot hot! But now not hot. Not hot now. De hot come go, come go. Now Is Coldy Coldy. Is ice. Hot den cold. Frreeeezy ice til hot again. Den de rain. It faaaalllll. Make pasty.”

happy001

Quote
When pressed on the particular outlook for the British Isles. Professor Sutton shook his head, moaned eerily unto the heavens, and stuffed his fingers into the entrails of a recently disembowelled chicken, bought fresh from Waitrose in Teignmouth.

Hurling the still-beating heart of the chicken into a shallow copper salver, Professor Sutton inhaled the aroma of burning incense, then told the Telegraph: “The seven towers of Agamemnon tremble. Much is the discord in the latitude of Gemini. When, when cry the sirens of doom and love. Speckly showers on Tuesday.”

happy002

Quote
So who are we to believe? For a final word, I turned to the greatest climate change scientist of all, Dr David Viner, one-time senior research scientist at the climatic research unit of the University of East Anglia, who predicted in 2000 that, within a few years, winter snowfall would become "a very rare and exciting event".

However, he was trapped under a glacier in Stockport, so was unable to comment at the time the Telegraph went to press.

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
I mostly despair

Offline Baldy

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Re: Fantastic Headlines
« Reply #3281 on: June 20, 2013, 06:51:21 AM »
 lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:

Offline Nick

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Re: Fantastic Headlines
« Reply #3282 on: June 20, 2013, 10:46:08 AM »


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Offline Barman

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Offline Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits)

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Re: Fantastic Headlines
« Reply #3284 on: June 20, 2013, 12:00:10 PM »



Didn't the "dukwtastrophe" occur in "grief central"?

Seems somehow appropriate . . . .
"Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end." 

Well, someone had to say it!