Fantastic Headlines

[Darwins Selection]

I was not affected, luckily.

http://www.yourlocalguardian.co.uk/news/local/suttonnews/8726682.Thieves_dig_up_street_to_steal_mile_of_cable/

I bet there was distress at the pikey camp after choking all night in the smoke as they burned off the insulation, only to find that the little people had pinched all the copper by the morning. 

[Pastis]

De-icing trains sent for service during big freeze

http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/standard/article-23905529-de-icing-trains-sent-for-service-in-the-big-freeze.do

 

[Barman]

I was not affected, luckily.

http://www.yourlocalguardian.co.uk/news/local/suttonnews/8726682.Thieves_dig_up_street_to_steal_mile_of_cable/

I bet there was distress at the pikey camp after choking all night in the smoke as they burned off the insulation, only to find that the little people had pinched all the copper by the morning. 

 

[Grumpmeister]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1337115/Ronnie-Biggs-Barnet-care-home-thieves-stole-100-piggy-bank.html

 

[apc2010]

A TRAFFIC warden slapped a ticket on a car - while the driver lay dead inside..!!!


http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3269329/Cambridge-traffic-warden-gives-car-ticket-with-dead-driver-inside.html

[Nick]

Wire up your todger and be forced to watch porn 

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/czechrepublic/8191849/Czechs-criticised-for-homosexual-sexual-arousal-tests.html

[Grumpmeister]

Simple answer to this one, any advanced race that picks up our TV and radio signals will have taken one look at dross like Big Brother, X Factor, Britain/US has Talent et all and decide to get the hell away from the planet of tasteless buffoons.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-11982757

[Nick]

http://order-order.com/2010/12/14/theyre-all-at-it-together/
 

[Barman]

http://order-order.com/2010/12/14/theyre-all-at-it-together/
 

How I larfed!

[Grumpmeister]

Absinthe and pineapple juice?? 

I'm not sure what is the worst taste, the advertising campaign or the feckin flavour. 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-12002061

[Snoopy]

Top judge complains about 'sex with corpses' rules

http://tinyurl.com/38k9stq

I particularly wonder about this bit of the report 

He said: “I am not being facetious about this, but do you know there is a guideline for judges passing sentence on those rather odd people who have sexual intercourse with a corpse?

"And there is a different possible approach depending on whether it’s more than once, with the same corpse or a different corpse.”

  The man must have tried having intercourse with my ex.

[Barman]

 

[Grumpmeister]

High on a hill was a lonely prophet 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1339150/Austrian-63-fined-700-Muslim-neighbours-claim-yodelling-mocks-prayer.html

[Grumpmeister]

One for BM 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1339429/Lester-Atherfold-shrinks-Mini-fit-car-boot-motorhome.html

[Barman]

One for BM 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1339429/Lester-Atherfold-shrinks-Mini-fit-car-boot-motorhome.html

 

Christus, that is what you call a motor home! Why not just drive there in a full-size mini and stay in a hotel?