Fantastic Headlines

[Steve]

. . .Meanwhile we are all doomed....

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/science/science-news/11706313/Asteroid-tsunami-could-kill-thousands-in-Britain-warn-scientists.html

PhD student Clemens Rumpf who developed the software –  Bet he is just one huge barrel of laughs at a party.

I note it says "For example there is a one in 10,000 chance that a space rock could hit just off the coast of Norfolk within the next 85 years."

I'm sure with a bit of crowd funding we could get Bruce Willis in space to make sure it hit Norfolk bang on

[Grumpmeister]

Why do I have an image of Apey going to the next one with a mangle and a set of buckets.. 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/travel/travel_news/article-3143340/What-waste-9-000-revellers-spray-130-000-litres-red-stuff-Spanish-Battle-Wine-white-shirts-compulsory.html

The Swiss Turnip Festival sounds like it would be right up Darwin's street. 

[apc2010]

Why do I have an image of Apey going to the next one with a mangle and a set of buckets.. 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/travel/travel_news/article-3143340/What-waste-9-000-revellers-spray-130-000-litres-red-stuff-Spanish-Battle-Wine-white-shirts-compulsory.html

The Swiss Turnip Festival sounds like it would be right up Darwin's street. 

 

[Grumpmeister]

Mouth like a wizards sleeve you say... 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3144794/Science-teacher-India-holds-48-individual-world-records-stuffing-objects-mouth-including-five-golf-balls-79-grapes-92-pencils.html

[barmisspah?]

Just how pissed do you have to be to mistake a bucket of concrete for sesame paste? 

Cue the old reprobates smuggers jokes.. 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3132561/Partygoer-eats-250-grams-concrete-mistook-sesame-paste.html

Can't open link so don't know what it says, but why was cement at a party.

[Barman]

Just how pissed do you have to be to mistake a bucket of concrete for sesame paste? 

Cue the old reprobates smuggers jokes.. 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3132561/Partygoer-eats-250-grams-concrete-mistook-sesame-paste.html

Can't open link so don't know what it says, but why was cement at a party.

It was a wedding party...

...they were cementing their relationship.....   










...I'll get my coat... 

[Darwins Selection]

Why do I have an image of Apey going to the next one with a mangle and a set of buckets.. 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/travel/travel_news/article-3143340/What-waste-9-000-revellers-spray-130-000-litres-red-stuff-Spanish-Battle-Wine-white-shirts-compulsory.html

The Swiss Turnip Festival sounds like it would be right up Darwin's street. 

[Darwins Selection]

Has that fish and Cherie Blair ever been seen in a swimming pool or any other body of water together?

Do you think it ate hers?

[Nick]

http://newsthump.com/2015/07/01/gingers-advised-to-not-even-bother-today/

[Barman]

http://newsthump.com/2015/07/01/gingers-advised-to-not-even-bother-today/

“I myself have been cursed with two ginger children, and I’m not letting them out of their rooms. If they even set foot outside then they’re liable to burst into flames.”

[Steve]

Just how pissed do you have to be to mistake a bucket of concrete for sesame paste? 

Cue the old reprobates smuggers jokes.. 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3132561/Partygoer-eats-250-grams-concrete-mistook-sesame-paste.html

Can't open link so don't know what it says, but why was cement at a party.

It was a wedding party...

...they were cementing their relationship.....   










...I'll get my coat... 

We should put a Blue Circle round that one

[Grumpmeister]

Here's another one for the smuggers to get their teeth into, a Mexican mayor marries another alligator as part of a traditional annual ceremony... 

Previous alligator wives and Rojas' human wife seemed to have no objection to welcoming this new woman into their lives.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3145964/Mexican-mayor-marries-ALLIGATOR-believed-princess-traditional-ceremony-hundreds-not-reptile-baptized.html

! No longer available

The alligator is having fun? More likely it's planning on what it's going to do once it get the duct tape off it's snout...

Something tells me it isn't going to be the bollock eating fish you have to worry about 

[Grumpmeister]

Just how much of an inbred moron do you have to be to think its a good idea to inject oil into your biceps for crying out loud. It may make them look bigger but even ignoring the health implications it looks fucking stupid 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-3145847/Horrific-video-shows-man-injected-OIL-arm-bigger-biceps-having-drained-limb-infected.html

[Barman]

Just how much of an inbred moron do you have to be to think its a good idea to inject oil into your biceps for crying out loud. It may make them look bigger but even ignoring the health implications it looks fucking stupid 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-3145847/Horrific-video-shows-man-injected-OIL-arm-bigger-biceps-having-drained-limb-infected.html

 

[Miss Creant]

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/australiaandthepacific/australia/11203963/Australian-idiot-surfs-dead-whale-as-sharks-circle.html


Funnily enough his parents think he is an idiot.