Uncle Mort's holiday disasters and shagging thread

[Barman]

Has he been in a sanatorium then?   

The whole cruise thing was just a ruse?

Where is the straightjacket emoticon when you need it?

Where is your avatart when we need it? 

[Barman]

Has he been in a sanatorium then?   

The whole cruise thing was just a ruse?

Where is the straightjacket emoticon when you need it?

Where is your avatart when we need it? 

Hold on tho...

I've fixed it for you... 

I'll keep the old one in my own personal collection.... 

[Darwins Selection]

Has he been in a sanatorium then?   

The whole cruise thing was just a ruse?

Where is the straightjacket emoticon when you need it?

Where is your avatart when we need it? 

Hold on tho...

I've fixed it for you... 

I'll keep the old one in my own personal collection.... 

Pervert!   

I never thought I'd see the day when you went round collecting womens used avatars. Shameful. 

[Uncle Mort]

I'm back! from the cruise that is, NOT the sanatorium or Gatwick.

For Pastis:

1) Lifeboat drill. We had to stand on the boat deck at our muster points, no hands on shoulders or standing to attention. We're passengers not crew after all. A few jokes from the captain and instructions on putting on the lifejacket and that's it.

2) The washing of hands is very much encouraged with dispensers at all restaurants and when boarding.

BBQ day on board!
 

[Pastis]

 

The onboard BBQs can get out of hand if the wind's in the wrong direction.  Some of our passengers took the filing out safety drill to be the start of the hokie cokie 

[Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons)]

Has he been in a sanatorium then?   

The whole cruise thing was just a ruse?

Where is the straightjacket emoticon when you need it?

Where is your avatart when we need it? 

Hold on tho...

I've fixed it for you... 

I'll keep the old one in my own personal collection.... 

Pervert!   

I never thought I'd see the day when you went round collecting womens used avatars. Shameful. 

    Thank you for fixing it BM it took ages to find and being on death's doorstep like, I couldn't fix it myself. I shall leave the old in your safe keeping but will want it back if and when I recover.

[Barman]

Has he been in a sanatorium then?   

The whole cruise thing was just a ruse?

Where is the straightjacket emoticon when you need it?

Where is your avatart when we need it? 

Hold on tho...

I've fixed it for you... 

I'll keep the old one in my own personal collection.... 

Pervert!   

I never thought I'd see the day when you went round collecting womens used avatars. Shameful. 

Thanks for the PM Darwin - I'll e-mail a copy to you today. 

[Barman]

Has he been in a sanatorium then?   

The whole cruise thing was just a ruse?

Where is the straightjacket emoticon when you need it?

Where is your avatart when we need it? 

Hold on tho...

I've fixed it for you... 

I'll keep the old one in my own personal collection.... 

Pervert!   

I never thought I'd see the day when you went round collecting womens used avatars. Shameful. 

    Thank you for fixing it BM it took ages to find and being on death's doorstep like, I couldn't fix it myself. I shall leave the old in your safe keeping but will want it back if and when I recover.

I'll clean it off if you require it back... 

[Barman]

I'm back! from the cruise that is, NOT the sanatorium or Gatwick.

For Pastis:

1) Lifeboat drill. We had to stand on the boat deck at our muster points, no hands on shoulders or standing to attention. We're passengers not crew after all. A few jokes from the captain and instructions on putting on the lifejacket and that's it.

2) The washing of hands is very much encouraged with dispensers at all restaurants and when boarding.

BBQ day on board!
 

Welcome back Uncle! We've missed you like... 

[Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons)]

Has he been in a sanatorium then?   

The whole cruise thing was just a ruse?

Where is the straightjacket emoticon when you need it?

Where is your avatart when we need it? 

Hold on tho...

I've fixed it for you... 

I'll keep the old one in my own personal collection.... 

Pervert!   

I never thought I'd see the day when you went round collecting womens used avatars. Shameful. 

    Thank you for fixing it BM it took ages to find and being on death's doorstep like, I couldn't fix it myself. I shall leave the old in your safe keeping but will want it back if and when I recover.

I'll clean it off if you require it back... 

Eeeeew

[Darwins Selection]

Has he been in a sanatorium then?   

The whole cruise thing was just a ruse?

Where is the straightjacket emoticon when you need it?

Where is your avatart when we need it? 

Hold on tho...

I've fixed it for you... 

I'll keep the old one in my own personal collection.... 

Pervert!   

I never thought I'd see the day when you went round collecting womens used avatars. Shameful. 

Thanks for the PM Darwin - I'll e-mail a copy to you today. 

[Uncle Mort]

Welcome back Uncle! We've missed you like... 

Ta very much BM.

[Barman]

Welcome back Uncle! We've missed you like... 

Ta very much BM.

It's like Joanna Lumley arriving in Nepal here... 

Did you get such a welcome at 'the other place'...? 

[Snoopy]

I doubt they noticed he had gone anywhere.











PS When can I expect delivery of my stick of rock?

[Uncle Mort]

I threw it to you yesterday, did you not hear the "fetch"