Disgusterous

Author Topic: I have to go to Muntchester  (Read 1651 times)

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Offline Snoopy

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I have to go to Muntchester
« on: July 27, 2009, 08:09:24 AM »
Taking Lil Bro to the Airport this morning.
I fecking hate Muntchester airport.
I shall not be getting out of the car as I fear being tasered by some trigger happy copper.
I am wearing a heart monitor clipped to the front of my shirt with wires that disappear into the shirt and attach to electrodes stuck on my chest.
You just know that if I go into the airport some b@st@rd is going to over-react and I will not be given the chance to explain.

I have been wearing this device for the past week and on Friday went to fill the car at a local filling station much favoured by the motorised cops around here. Bumped into one in the doorway. He looked panic stricken when he spotted the wires and started reaching for his baton/radio/fuck knows what until I said "Morning son ~ it's a heart monitor"....... then he got all interested and wanted to be shown how it worked and so on. I end up opening the shirt to show him that I am not a walking bomb.

At least being 62 with very grey (all right, white) hair I can get away with calling them "Son".  ;D

Still it comes off on the 5th August. The bloody electrodes don't half itch and turning over in bed last night I damn near hung myself in the tangle of wires.
I used to have a handle on life but it broke.

Offline Snoopy

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Re: I have to go to Muntchester
« Reply #1 on: July 27, 2009, 11:28:23 AM »
I have returned from Muntchester Airport safely.


Why are all the wimmin, not wearing Burkhas, bright orange? It is like being in the land of the Oompah Loompahs.










Note to Pendants spelling may vary from Burkhas to Burkas and even Burqas.
I used to have a handle on life but it broke.

Offline The Moan Ranger

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Re: I have to go to Muntchester
« Reply #2 on: July 27, 2009, 11:31:37 AM »
I have returned from Muntchester Airport safely.


Why are all the wimmin, not wearing Burkhas, bright orange? It is like being in the land of the Oompah Loompahs.










Note to Pendants spelling may vary from Burkhas to Burkas and even Burqas.

See also: Croydon

Offline Barman

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Re: I have to go to Muntchester
« Reply #3 on: July 27, 2009, 11:32:51 AM »
I have returned from Muntchester Airport safely.


Why are all the wimmin, not wearing Burkhas, bright orange? It is like being in the land of the Oompah Loompahs.










Note to Pendants spelling may vary from Burkhas to Burkas and even Burqas.

See also: Croydon
As a spelling of Burkhas?  Shrugs:
Pro Skub  Thumbs:

Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: I have to go to Muntchester
« Reply #4 on: July 27, 2009, 12:06:18 PM »
I have returned from Muntchester Airport safely.


Why are all the wimmin, not wearing Burkhas, bright orange? It is like being in the land of the Oompah Loompahs.










Note to Pendants spelling may vary from Burkhas to Burkas and even Burqas.

See also: Croydon
As a spelling of Burkhas?  Shrugs:
drumroll:
I mostly despair

Offline Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons)

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Re: I have to go to Muntchester
« Reply #5 on: July 27, 2009, 03:05:14 PM »
I have returned from Muntchester Airport safely.


Why are all the wimmin, not wearing Burkhas, bright orange? It is like being in the land of the Oompah Loompahs.










Note to Pendants spelling may vary from Burkhas to Burkas and even Burqas.

See also: Croydon
As a spelling of Burkhas?  Shrugs:


 lol: lol:

I have always thought that the worst thing about drowning was having to call 'help!' You must look such a fool. It's put me against drowning.
J Basil Boothroyd

Offline Snoopy

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Re: I have to go to Muntchester
« Reply #6 on: July 27, 2009, 04:52:43 PM »
I quite liked the idea of Pendants ~ just hanging around waiting like but .............. shrugs:
I used to have a handle on life but it broke.

Offline Pastis

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Re: I have to go to Muntchester
« Reply #7 on: July 27, 2009, 05:11:37 PM »
I had a Pendant once .... I think  rubschin:  It was a very long time ago
Like the Buddhist said to the hot dog vendor...
"Make me one with everything"

Offline Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons)

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Re: I have to go to Muntchester
« Reply #8 on: July 27, 2009, 05:31:30 PM »
In the Biblical sense? eeek:
I have always thought that the worst thing about drowning was having to call 'help!' You must look such a fool. It's put me against drowning.
J Basil Boothroyd

Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: I have to go to Muntchester
« Reply #9 on: July 27, 2009, 05:56:39 PM »
In the Biblical sense? eeek:
Would that not be knew?

I think the biblical scholars among us (are there any now?) would be disappointed with "Cain had his wife and she did conceive. . . " etc

I mostly despair

Offline Nick

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Re: I have to go to Muntchester
« Reply #10 on: July 27, 2009, 07:13:40 PM »
I have just got back from Manchester myself. Saw some top totty (mind you I was in the posh bit  whistle:)
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Offline Barman

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Re: I have to go to Muntchester
« Reply #11 on: July 27, 2009, 07:14:40 PM »
I have just got back from Manchester myself. Saw some top totty (mind you I was in the posh bit  whistle:)
Welcome back like.... You have some catching up to do...  whistle:
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Offline Snoopy

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Re: I have to go to Muntchester
« Reply #12 on: July 27, 2009, 07:40:23 PM »
I have just got back from Manchester myself. Saw some top totty (mind you I was in the posh bit  whistle:)

Were they orange and wearing skirts that measure about 9 inches from waist to hem? The Fecking Airport was swarming with them. I went no further into Muntchester than the Airport ~ I have relatives in Peel Hall and some more in Wythenshaw. I try not to meet them.
I used to have a handle on life but it broke.

Offline beerhead

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Re: I have to go to Muntchester
« Reply #13 on: July 28, 2009, 03:26:47 PM »
Oh, you Northerners. I am so glad that I am spending at least the next 6 weeks 1000 miles south of you, in the land of Sophia Loren impersonators.

Not a munter in site, tee hee.Tonight a suckling pig barbecue in the pine forest, with lots of Barolo. Hosted by Monica Belluci. Please feel free to Google that name.
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Offline Snoopy

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Re: I have to go to Muntchester
« Reply #14 on: July 28, 2009, 03:31:16 PM »
Hold on lad ~ I'm no bloody northerner. I come from Hampshire ~ any further south and you have to swim.  cussing:
I used to have a handle on life but it broke.