The all new disastrous long weekend away for the Nicks thread

[Uncle Mort]

Feel free to vote in the Prize Poll

I voted - what's the prize?

[Nick]

Quite so. I can't pronounce the name of the place we are going to, so we are using the SatNav to avoid having to ask directions.

I spose Wales has a satellite  

[Miss Demeanour]

Heavy traffic in Wales? Poor innocent child. It's the fooking tractors and sheep that are the problem 

But you have to get to Wales first ...and then it will be all those other muppets that are staycationing in Britain . Plus the masses going to the Flutes and Lutes weekend  

[Nick]

Feel free to vote in the Prize Poll

I voted - what's the prize?

A quart of hand knitted yoghurt  

[Nick]

Heavy traffic in Wales? Poor innocent child. It's the fooking tractors and sheep that are the problem 

But you have to get to Wales first ...and then it will be all those other muppets that are staycationing in Britain . Plus the masses going to the Flutes and Lutes weekend  

I can see Wales out of the window you doltess! Other festival goers will be in horse drawn caravans and Bedford Dormobiles and the like 

[Miss Demeanour]

 

Well feckin walk then if you are in that much of a hurry to get there 

[Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons)]

Quite so. I can't pronounce the name of the place we are going to, so we are using the SatNav to avoid having to ask directions.

I spose Wales has a satellite  

Oh yes indeed they do, it is on a grass verge just south of Llandaff.

[Nick]

Disaster strikes!

Mrs Nick, still gardening at 1.00 disturbs a wasps nest  

She arrives screaming in the kitchen. 11 stings all on her bum  

She made me douse it in vinegar.

The Boy said this put him off his lunch  

She can't sit down 

[Miss Demeanour]

Surely she won't be able to drive now......

[Nick]

Not till the swelling goes down 

[The Moan Ranger]

That's terrible Nick.

We need to know - are the wasps O.K. ?

[Nick]

 

For the present. I have been instructed to go and deal with them  . I was thinking white spirit and a match 

[The Moan Ranger]

For the present. I have been instructed to go and deal with them  . I was thinking white spirit and a match 

After their fine work, I'd be taking them a pot of jam and all the Coca Cola they could drink.

[Miss Demeanour]

Not till the swelling goes down 

Well Mrs Nick wanted to broaden her horizon 

[The Moan Ranger]

What, exactly was Mrs Nick wearing? 

Why the bum attack? Why not the arms etc.?  She wasn't gardening au naturel was she?