Miss D's all new holiday snaps thread (with added bikinis)

[Nick]

You have more snaps of other popular skin diseases? 

[Miss Demeanour]

It is my speciality 

[Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons)]

I shall share no more then 

Take no notice of their callous remarks Miss D, they have missed your presence.  Liken it, if you will, to a dog that you put into kennels, it is so pleased to see you when you collect it, but misbehaves just to make it's displeasure known.

[Nick]

She has been fought over by A-rabs and chased by a lesbian. 'A good holiday' she calls it 

[Miss Demeanour]

That is all the 'aside stuff '  - the main part and context of the holiday was to relax , spend time with The Brat and my friends, enjoy ourselves, go and explore and forget all about the day to day stuff. This was done in abundance.

The Brat and I actually got on really well - she even became affectionate ( must have been heat stroke) . Time spent with my friend and her husband is always brilliant as they are the loveliest people you could meet. The kids were happy . We had many many laughs and some of these were not even at my expense .

So yes - a great holiday indeed 

[Miss Demeanour]

I shall share no more then 

Take no notice of their callous remarks Miss D, they have missed your presence.  Liken it, if you will, to a dog that you put into kennels, it is so pleased to see you when you collect it, but misbehaves just to make it's displeasure known.

Aaahh I see - a bit of disciplinary action is required then eh 

By the way I am sure I will catch up Miss C - but where for art thou legs gone 

[Nick]

I have it. A likeness of your good self fashioned out of varnished camel dung!

[Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons)]

It is coming back, BM has promised to clean it off and let me have it back, prolly best you don't think too much about that, I had porcine flu (wel,l a bit of a cold to say the least) Mr Selection sent me off truffle hunting.


As you can imagine I got no sympathy.

[Miss Demeanour]

Poor poor you 

and it was so bad your legs fell off    - is this one of the more obscure symptoms ????

BM is restoring them you say ......have you always wanted to walk backwards 

I hope you are resting and being given lots of treats to make you feel better 

[Miss Demeanour]

I have it. A likeness of your good self fashioned out of varnished camel dung!

It is my side profile taken at hip level 

[barmisspah?]

So, this present then ?

[Nick]

A likeness of Miss D fashioned out of varnished camel dung!

Like I said, like 

That or a mummified donkey willy

[Miss Demeanour]

 

I was presented with a very small  ( fit in the palm of your hand) , silver trinket box, which in itself was lovely. As this was in reception and everyone was there I did not offend by refusing the gift and graciously just said thank you.

When he started shaking his head I worried that I had done the wrong thing and not wanting any more tears once again repeated thank you , it was very thoughtful etc etc etc. Must go coach is waiting - that kind of thing.

He then produced a pair of nail scissors from his pocket. So to my mind I was either going to be stabbed through the heart ...although I'm sure he didn't think I had one at this point or in the eyes .  When he turned and said I must take a piece of him with me I was obviously alarmed that a pair of nail scissors would be adequate to perform this kind of operation. However I must learn to take my smutty , cynical mind out of the gutter. He cut off one of his curly locks and placed it in the box. How bloody dramatic do you want to be  

When I turned round my friend had dissolved into tears of stifled laughter and was crossing her legs so that she didn't wet herself. I think I went beetroot red and scuttled to the coach in the fastest scarab walk I could muster and boarded the coach. I couldn't look out the window again but they were all saying ahhhh 'he's crying'    

[Nick]

That is an A-rab marriage ceremony. You will have to get him a visa now 

[Miss Demeanour]

Or a rucksack