Wimmin! #56498

[Snoopy]

So SWWLTBO says "I have defrosted the big freezer so could you go on line to Asda?" a cunning move because that puts the bill on my card and not hers.
Anywhoo I have a speedy trawl round the store and buy about £100 worth of stuff (most of which will not go into the freezer anyway) because there are shouted requests for "ladies items" and sundry tins, jars and bottles.

I tell her the job is done and that delivery will be on Tuesday as she requested.

She then puts on her coat, "borrows" a hundred quid (that I will never see again) and says she is going shopping. Comes back two and a half hours later with 6 carrier bags full. Where had she been?

You know it don't you.
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.fvcking ASDA! 

[Nick]

 
 

[Snoopy]

Je d?sesp?re


If I live to be 1000 I know I will still not understand them. 

[Miss Demeanour]

It may be Asda carrier bags but that does not necessarily mean she has been to Asda  

[Nick]

The mahoosive fook up with the fooking rug last night was ALL HER FAULT. This was proven THREE fooking times. Result? Contrition? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

It was, and still is, 

[Nick]

It may be Asda carrier bags but that does not necessarily mean she has been to Asda  

They are so devious 

And And they have stoopid magazines that have articles in about men's faults WITH FOOKING QUIZZES! 

[Snoopy]

It may be Asda carrier bags but that does not necessarily mean she has been to Asda  

The giveaway being the labels on the tins, jars, bottles and packets. Mostly she has bought the things she stood in the kitchen and shouted out that she needed me to order for Tuesday delivery.  

[Nick]

 

Where will you put it all? 

[Snoopy]

 


I expect a lot of it will be converted into Meals on Wheels and transported by her to her mother's freezer in Lincolnshire. The old lady relies on us to provide ready cooked and portioned meals that she can microwave back to life as she (MiL) is now going blind as well as being 80, not recovering from last year's stroke and barely able to get around the house but still will not go into a care home.

[Nick]

 

[Miss Demeanour]

Now now boys, calm down....sit down...deep breaths ......exhale slowly .......close your eyes

Let your mind wander....go back, way back,  to the days when you had just met your beloved. Remember those wonderful feelings of attraction, lust, affection, adoration 

When laughter was abundant, when sex was frequent , when you 'wanted' to spend your time in her company.

Do you remember now?

Well that was years ago and whilst she is doing everything you are sitting on your arse in your chair with your eyes closed. No wonder she is less than happy 

[Snoopy]

 

I have done something, I know not what, to my back and it hurts like h*ll. I can only get up the stairs one at a time. Sitting and standing are an agony. Every cough or sneeze brings tears to my eyes. Last night I went slowly up to bed, took two painkillers and fell asleep. When she came to bed she woke me up because it didn't "look like you were breathing".

[Nick]

WIMMIN 

[Nick]

Now now boys, calm down....sit down...deep breaths ......exhale slowly .......close your eyes

Let your mind wander....go back, way back,  to the days when you had just met your beloved. Remember those wonderful feelings of attraction, lust, affection, adoration 

When laughter was abundant, when sex was frequent , when you 'wanted' to spend your time in her company.

Do you remember now?

Well that was years ago and whilst she is doing everything you are sitting on your arse in your chair with your eyes closed. No wonder she is less than happy 

What is this sex of which you burble?

[Miss Demeanour]

It's what 2 people do when they love each other

or fancy each other

or pay one or the other

or when they're pissed

or when they need something from the other person