Disgusterous

Author Topic: Death wish  (Read 923 times)

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Offline Miss Demeanour

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Death wish
« on: September 27, 2009, 04:14:54 PM »
So phase 1 of the redecoration master plan begins....

Before it does I decide I will go and order some new carpet that I had already looked at.

So off I pop to the shop ...go up to the bloke and say  " I would like to order some carpet please".

" Certainly madam ...come and sit at my desk so I can take your details "

So he takes down the make of the carpet and colour I want and then asks how big it is.....so I tell him how many sq metres are required.

"did your husband take the measurements madam "

 " No " I said  " I did "

"oh - we can offer a free measurement service if required madam " he kindly offered

" No thank you . I can measure the size of a room " I said , getting increasingly miffed

" Are you sure you don't want to take us up on the offer - we can have someone to do in the next couple of days " he irritatingly said

"NO " I said

" Very well madam but once it's ordered it can't be changed "


 cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:






Skubber

Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Death wish
« Reply #1 on: September 27, 2009, 04:32:22 PM »
I bet after that you went home and checked the measurements again to be certain any errors were on their side. . . . .

Cue joke about women and distorted impressions of size. . . .
I mostly despair

Offline Miss Demeanour

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Re: Death wish
« Reply #2 on: September 27, 2009, 04:40:06 PM »
I checked twice before I left  - just in case like  lol:
Skubber

Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Death wish
« Reply #3 on: September 27, 2009, 04:45:56 PM »
Good girl. Very sensible
I mostly despair

Offline Pastis

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Re: Death wish
« Reply #4 on: September 27, 2009, 05:15:27 PM »
A good maxim; measure twice, cut once  8)
And if your carpet ordering is anything like your drink ordering MissD, I imagine they'll fit perfickly into the glass room  ;)
Like the Buddhist said to the hot dog vendor...
"Make me one with everything"

Offline Miss Demeanour

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Re: Death wish
« Reply #5 on: September 27, 2009, 05:28:22 PM »
 lol:

I haven't had a drink in ages now.....standards are slipping  noooo:
Skubber

Offline Pirate

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Re: Death wish
« Reply #6 on: September 27, 2009, 05:29:33 PM »
 char048

Offline Snoopy

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Re: Death wish
« Reply #7 on: September 27, 2009, 05:29:56 PM »
Drink and painting do not make good companions in my experience.  confused:
I used to have a handle on life but it broke.

Offline Miss Demeanour

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Re: Death wish
« Reply #8 on: September 27, 2009, 05:30:23 PM »
That's an unfortunate affliction you have there Mr Pirate  whistle:
Skubber

Offline Pirate

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Re: Death wish
« Reply #9 on: September 27, 2009, 05:31:22 PM »
It goes well with my eye patch

Offline Pastis

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Re: Death wish
« Reply #10 on: September 27, 2009, 05:32:08 PM »
Define ages  whistle:
Like the Buddhist said to the hot dog vendor...
"Make me one with everything"

Offline Miss Demeanour

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Re: Death wish
« Reply #11 on: September 27, 2009, 05:33:21 PM »
Your lawyer tendencies are coming out again Mr Pastis  lol:

Last time I had alcohol was in Cyprus  whistle:
Skubber

Offline Barman

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Re: Death wish
« Reply #12 on: September 27, 2009, 05:35:20 PM »
Your lawyer tendencies are coming out again Mr Pastis  lol:

Last time I had alcohol was in Cyprus  whistle:
I remember it well...  noooo:
Pro Skub  Thumbs:

Offline Miss Demeanour

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Re: Death wish
« Reply #13 on: September 27, 2009, 05:37:01 PM »
I believe I had to fill in quite a lot of blanks for you the next day  happy001
Skubber

Offline Grumpmeister

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Re: Death wish
« Reply #14 on: September 27, 2009, 05:38:02 PM »
lol:

I haven't had a drink in ages now.....standards are slipping  noooo:

A drink, no. But 8 or 9 lined up in a row, quite possibly whistle:
The universe is run by the complex interweaving of three elements. Energy, matter, and enlightened self-interest.