The empty room!

[Darwins Selection]

most of the jokes in there don?t require responses?

Most of the jokes are so old they can't hear responses.

Welcome in young Marley. Has the "buy Darwin a large malt" tradition been explained to you?

No it hasn't; is it anything like the "Welcome Marley, here's a generous snifter to lubricate your whistle" custom? If so, I'll stand you one if you'll stand me one.

O.K.?

OK, you first

[Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits)]

most of the jokes in there don?t require responses?

Most of the jokes are so old they can't hear responses.

Welcome in young Marley. Has the "buy Darwin a large malt" tradition been explained to you?

No it hasn't; is it anything like the "Welcome Marley, here's a generous snifter to lubricate your whistle" custom? If so, I'll stand you one if you'll stand me one.

O.K.?

OK, you first

No, after you - you are the local and regular so by rights you should be in the chair (only chair I'm likely to be in is a bath chair the way my back is today)

[Barman]

With all the trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed last week.
 
Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote 'The Hokey Kokey' died peacefully at the age of 93.

The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in, and that's when the trouble started....

[Darwins Selection]

most of the jokes in there don?t require responses?

Most of the jokes are so old they can't hear responses.

Welcome in young Marley. Has the "buy Darwin a large malt" tradition been explained to you?

No it hasn't; is it anything like the "Welcome Marley, here's a generous snifter to lubricate your whistle" custom? If so, I'll stand you one if you'll stand me one.

O.K.?

OK, you first

No, after you - you are the local and regular so by rights you should be in the chair (only chair I'm likely to be in is a bath chair the way my back is today)

Of course dear boy, where are my manners?

Barman, my usual please and a half of shandy for Mr Ghost.

[Barman]

most of the jokes in there don?t require responses?

Most of the jokes are so old they can't hear responses.

Welcome in young Marley. Has the "buy Darwin a large malt" tradition been explained to you?

No it hasn't; is it anything like the "Welcome Marley, here's a generous snifter to lubricate your whistle" custom? If so, I'll stand you one if you'll stand me one.

O.K.?

OK, you first

No, after you - you are the local and regular so by rights you should be in the chair (only chair I'm likely to be in is a bath chair the way my back is today)

Of course dear boy, where are my manners?

Barman, my usual please and a half of shandy for Mr Ghost.

I?ll be right there after I?ve taken my medicine?   

[Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits)]

most of the jokes in there don?t require responses?

Most of the jokes are so old they can't hear responses.

Welcome in young Marley. Has the "buy Darwin a large malt" tradition been explained to you?

No it hasn't; is it anything like the "Welcome Marley, here's a generous snifter to lubricate your whistle" custom? If so, I'll stand you one if you'll stand me one.

O.K.?

OK, you first

No, after you - you are the local and regular so by rights you should be in the chair (only chair I'm likely to be in is a bath chair the way my back is today)

Of course dear boy, where are my manners?

Barman, my usual please and a half of shandy for Mr Ghost.

I?ll be right there after I?ve taken my medicine?   

And then, barman, I'd like a pint of Wife Beater Unleaded and a tonic for Darwin - he's driving I believe and we wouldn't want to tip him over the edge now, would we?