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Author Topic: For sale, no FREE! A cat.  (Read 22700 times)

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Offline GROWLER

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For sale, no FREE! A cat.
« on: November 28, 2009, 06:22:57 PM »
Anyone wanna cat?

Horrible rancid skawking scrawny flea ridden greedy selfish overly self important mangy 20 year old disgusting shit machine that is driving me to the very edges of insanity, AND IF IT DOESN'T SHUT T.F UP AND STOP ITS INCESSANT YOWLING ALL DAY AND NIGHT AND SCRATCHING AT MY MY BEAUTIFUL FRONT DOOR IT'S GOING IN THE BASTARD OVEN REGULO 9.  Explode:

Beautiful fluffy black and white delectable gorgeous affectionate purring caring pussy cat in its advanced years requiring an affectionate and equally patient caring sharing owner.
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Offline Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons)

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Re: For sale, no FREE! A cat.
« Reply #1 on: November 28, 2009, 06:28:50 PM »
Take it to the vet and get him/her to shave it's paw or just bury it.  Would suggest you keel it first as burying it whilst alive seems a tad cruel.
 happy100
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Offline GROWLER

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Re: For sale, no FREE! A cat.
« Reply #2 on: November 28, 2009, 06:35:30 PM »
Quote from: Miss Creant on November 28, 2009, 06:28:50 PM
Take it to the vet and get him/her to shave it's paw or just bury it.  Would suggest you keel it first as burying it whilst alive seems a tad cruel.
 happy100


Dp YOU want it?
I'll gladly pay for it to disappear. It really really is pushing me to the edge of insanity with its constant yowling and howling.  Banghead
Why can't it just meeeyow like normal moggies ey?
It stands there scrstching away at the door, you finally give in ..well the Growlers jnr do...it screams past you, dives into the kitchen, has a little nibble at it best rat cat food meat stuff, looks at you with its one eye, looks at the fridge, mooches around and then stands on THIS side of the door howling to go out again...GIVE ME BLOODY STRENGTH FFS! cussing:

Do cats get dimensia, cus something is defo wrong inside its scrawny little head. ::)

Trouble is, even I have a bit of heart as much as i dislike it and all cats, but I don't consider it very kind lobbing it out at night at the moment.
I lie in me pit and can hear it scratching at the front door trying to get back in. Trouble is it would probably do that at 03:00 trying to get OUT! Banghead

I'm in despair.
« Last Edit: November 28, 2009, 06:39:15 PM by GROWLER »
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Offline Grumpmeister

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Re: For sale, no FREE! A cat.
« Reply #3 on: November 28, 2009, 06:36:26 PM »
Just a suggestion but seeing as it is obviously in distress while outside have you considered fitting a catflap?  whistle:
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Offline GROWLER

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Re: For sale, no FREE! A cat.
« Reply #4 on: November 28, 2009, 06:43:36 PM »
Quote from: Grumpmeister on November 28, 2009, 06:36:26 PM
Just a suggestion but seeing as it is obviously in distress while outside have you considered fitting a catflap?  whistle:

It's seemingly in distress when it's INSIDE too!  noooo:

I really don't want to start cutting holes in the new back door we had fitted last year tbh, but the thought did cross my mind , yes.

I'm not so sure it's in distress though. It just seems to be seeking attention imo, and its driving me insane! angry041:

It was never ours in the first place. It belonged to the old dear next door before she was put in a home. I suspect she spoilt it rotten, problee with freshly cooked best haddock and roast chicken and stuffing on a Sunday.
 None of the relatives wanted it, so it was a case of vets for a very long kip or come here. Mini Moose won when she heard the options, and now we are 'stuffed' sad32:

Even the next door neighbour is fedup with it, but I think he finds my suffering quite funny tbh....IT'S NOT!
« Last Edit: November 28, 2009, 06:46:53 PM by GROWLER »
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Offline Pastis

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Re: For sale, no FREE! A cat.
« Reply #5 on: November 28, 2009, 06:49:02 PM »
20 years old you say?  eeek:

In human years you're looking after a 96 year old; that might explain your exasperation  happy100

http://cats.about.com/cs/healthissues/a/agechart.htm
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Offline Grumpmeister

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Re: For sale, no FREE! A cat.
« Reply #6 on: November 28, 2009, 06:51:49 PM »
Stupid question but doest it walk normally or constantly brush up against the side of everything? The yowling sounds like something one of my cats did before he died when his eyesight was going.
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Offline GROWLER

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Re: For sale, no FREE! A cat.
« Reply #7 on: November 28, 2009, 06:53:00 PM »
Quote from: Pastis on November 28, 2009, 06:49:02 PM
20 years old you say?  eeek:

In human years you're looking after a 96 year old; that might explain your exasperation  happy100

http://cats.about.com/cs/healthissues/a/agechart.htm

Approximate apparently, but at least, yes. eeek:

Mrs G and Mini Mooselet took him to the vets for a check up back in august when this flamin' pantomime started, and he gave him a virtual clean bill of health!
Cliiped his paws, shaved out it's knotty fur and said tarar and kiss me arse. whistle:

Stuffed, that's what I am. STUFFED! Banghead
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Offline GROWLER

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Re: For sale, no FREE! A cat.
« Reply #8 on: November 28, 2009, 06:55:39 PM »
Quote from: Grumpmeister on November 28, 2009, 06:51:49 PM
Stupid question but doest it walk normally or constantly brush up against the side of everything? The yowling sounds like something one of my cats did before he died when his eyesight was going.

Walk? You want to see it bloody jump and climb! Amazing, and it can run like the very Bolt himself.
Nowt wrong with his one good eye. He can see a bacon butty from 2 miles, and smell it from 40. eeek:
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Offline Pastis

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Re: For sale, no FREE! A cat.
« Reply #9 on: November 28, 2009, 07:06:04 PM »
Quote from: GROWLER on November 28, 2009, 06:53:00 PM

Stuffed, that's what I am. STUFFED! Banghead

Well, if it's good enough for you, it's good enough for the cat  whistle:

A visit to the taxidermist beckons  eveilgrin:
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Offline Nick

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Re: For sale, no FREE! A cat.
« Reply #10 on: November 28, 2009, 07:14:03 PM »
I like cats  cloud9:
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Offline Grumpmeister

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Re: For sale, no FREE! A cat.
« Reply #11 on: November 28, 2009, 07:15:25 PM »
Quote from: Nick on November 28, 2009, 07:14:03 PM
I like cats  cloud9:

Aha Growler, I think I may see the cause here. Did it come into contact with Nick before starting to act strangely?  whistle:
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Offline GROWLER

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Re: For sale, no FREE! A cat.
« Reply #12 on: November 28, 2009, 08:43:39 PM »
Quote from: Nick on November 28, 2009, 07:14:03 PM
I like cats  cloud9:

Sorry, but i don't, Never have and never will. They remind me of the darker side of human nature too much.
Now dogs, I luv them generally speaking, 'specially if they aren't mine like, but will problee never have one, as I can't be doing with all the associated hassles.
Then of course you've got the dreaded 'The End' bit too. eeek:

I've seen grown and well 'ard men completely destroyed when the poochio finally coughs it.  sad32:

Be excellent company for me on me trips up me 'ills though, 'specially a well 'ard gruff and scruffy one to match its owner like, that's had a sad life of being stuck indoors with little or no walkies. I really musn't though. noooo:

Young Growler jnr. has announced he's getting a pet pygmy hedgehog when he's saved up enough dosh.
Seems quite a reasonable hassle free idea on the face of it. rubschin:
« Last Edit: November 28, 2009, 08:48:18 PM by GROWLER »
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Offline GROWLER

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Re: For sale, no FREE! A cat.
« Reply #13 on: November 28, 2009, 08:51:35 PM »
Quote from: Pastis on November 28, 2009, 06:49:02 PM
20 years old you say?  eeek:

In human years you're looking after a 96 year old; that might explain your exasperation  happy100

http://cats.about.com/cs/healthissues/a/agechart.htm

Hells bells! That chart only goes up to 20!
Is my life soon to become stress free...er again?  8)
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Offline Snoopy

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Re: For sale, no FREE! A cat.
« Reply #14 on: November 28, 2009, 09:10:46 PM »
You might give it to someone who admits to liking cats and is planning to go and live in London ............ whistle:


Tell the child it ran away like  eveilgrin:
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