For sale, no FREE! A cat.

[The Moan Ranger]

LOOK YOU LOT!

I'm now in a position to PAY someone to take this rancid flea ridden bastard Rcat away from here.
Being the kind caring generous creature that I am, I decided to let this disgusting 'thing' stay in here last night, being a bit nippy outdoors like.

I got up for a gush at 05:15, unbeknown to me that the horrible little bastard had beaten me to it, and pissed all over the carpet outside my nestroom. I was in BEAR feet too!
Yea, I really want to be standing there showering me bear paws at 05:15 you dirty digusting vile cretinous apology for an animal.

SOMEONE TAKE IT AWAY FROM ME, NOW!!!!

Give it to Nick to keep him warm 

[Nick]

2010 isn't going too well so far, is it? 

[Nick]

LOOK YOU LOT!

I'm now in a position to PAY someone to take this rancid flea ridden bastard Rcat away from here.
Being the kind caring generous creature that I am, I decided to let this disgusting 'thing' stay in here last night, being a bit nippy outdoors like.

I got up for a gush at 05:15, unbeknown to me that the horrible little bastard had beaten me to it, and pissed all over the carpet outside my nestroom. I was in BEAR feet too!
Yea, I really want to be standing there showering me bear paws at 05:15 you dirty digusting vile cretinous apology for an animal.

SOMEONE TAKE IT AWAY FROM ME, NOW!!!!

Give it to Nick to keep him warm 

I have pussy problems of my own to contend with 

[GROWLER]

2010 isn't going too well so far, is it? 

No, so go piss off if you haven't got summat constructive to say.

The RAT is currently sitting on next doors window ledge above the boiler chimley thing.
Here's hoping it gases itself, dirty bastard.

[GROWLER]

Do chinky takeawys buy cats? 
Got a pleferidge many of them 'round here.

[Nick]

Just bung it in tonight's family stir fry 

[GROWLER]

I'm really close to getting nicked by the RSPCA here.

Look, I feed it with Tesco's finest shite meat pouches every day.
It was outside yowling just now...as usual..so I let it saunter in in its usual 'get out me way style'.
It nibbles at its bowl of freshly opened nosh, turn me back, and 2 minutes later its in the friggin' pedal bin, presumably cus it sniffed a bit of pork fat that I lobbed in there last night whilst cutting the Sunday roast.

I've just re-launched it, and its bowl of grub.
How I wish the owld biddy next door had had a dog as a pet instead of this rancid flea bag.

[Barman]

I'm really close to getting nicked by the RSPCA here.

Look, I feed it with Tesco's finest shite meat pouches every day.
It was outside yowling just now...as usual..so I let it saunter in in its usual 'get out me way style'.
It nibbles at its bowl of freshly opened nosh, turn me back, and 2 minutes later its in the friggin' pedal bin, presumably cus it sniffed a bit of pork fat that I lobbed in there last night whilst cutting the Sunday roast.

I've just re-launched it, and its bowl of grub.
How I wish the owld biddy next door had had a dog as a pet instead of this rancid flea bag.

 

[GROWLER]

I'm really close to getting nicked by the RSPCA here.

Look, I feed it with Tesco's finest shite meat pouches every day.
It was outside yowling just now...as usual..so I let it saunter in in its usual 'get out me way style'.
It nibbles at its bowl of freshly opened nosh, turn me back, and 2 minutes later its in the friggin' pedal bin, presumably cus it sniffed a bit of pork fat that I lobbed in there last night whilst cutting the Sunday roast.

I've just re-launched it, and its bowl of grub.
How I wish the owld biddy next door had had a dog as a pet instead of this rancid flea bag.

 

IT IS NOT funny...AT ALL.

I'm at me wits bastard end with it, really, and no one wants it...apart from Mini Moose.

[Barman]

I'm really close to getting nicked by the RSPCA here.

Look, I feed it with Tesco's finest shite meat pouches every day.
It was outside yowling just now...as usual..so I let it saunter in in its usual 'get out me way style'.
It nibbles at its bowl of freshly opened nosh, turn me back, and 2 minutes later its in the friggin' pedal bin, presumably cus it sniffed a bit of pork fat that I lobbed in there last night whilst cutting the Sunday roast.

I've just re-launched it, and its bowl of grub.
How I wish the owld biddy next door had had a dog as a pet instead of this rancid flea bag.

 

IT IS NOT funny...AT ALL.

I'm at me wits bastard end with it, really, and no one wants it...apart from Mini Moose.

I've got three like that...

Me and the dog hate them... 

[Nick]

I like cats 

[Barman]

I like cats 

Expect a wriggly parcel in the post... or a smelly one... 

[Bar Wench]

If it is next door's cat then why are you feeding it?!?!? 

[GROWLER]

If it is next door's cat then why are you feeding it?!?!? 

Page 1, reply #4.
Can't be bothered repeating it as it winds me up even thinking about it tbqath.

Me and Mini Moose have now fallen out over the distasteful obnoxoius vile ratty little creature.
She sez I'm not nice to it, and that it has feelings and all that shite.

It'll be feeling my boot again shortly, that's a bloody certainty.

[GROWLER]

That IS IT!

Heard a hissing noise whilst on here and thought someone had left the cooker on. Stood up went out into the hall, and it was the bastard RAT pissing on the carpet.  

It whines and howls endlessly to come in, but not a whimper to go out.

It is going next week. I neither know or care how or where. Simple. End of.