For sale, no FREE! A cat.

[GROWLER]

I think the dog cancels them out, like

....and you have got............?

Exactly.

Meanwhile, back here at Growlersville, this vile slithery ratcat pissed all over the carpet again on Saturday night.  
Oh I was so so happy cleaning a carpet at turned past midnight.  
I'm going to see about its extermination this week, but have the fearful Mini Moosies reaction to consider if she finds out.

[Nick]

Do you have to wear gas masks in your house? That cat pee stuff is eye-watering 

[GROWLER]

Do you have to wear gas masks in your house? That cat pee stuff is eye-watering 

Precisely. Vile in every dept., and the disgusting noises this thing makes when it's eating, quite frankly, beggars belief.

It was still gushing when I caught and launched it on Saturday night, so stinking damage was minimal, but still more than enough.
Never smelt a Skunks defensive odour, but it can't be much werser than cat piss surely?

[Miss Demeanour]

I'm going to see about its extermination this week, but have the fearful Mini Moosies reaction to consider if she finds out.

I don't envy you that one ......but there is no benefit that the cat actually brings you ....gotta go to my mind 

[Uncle Mort]

I think you have to tell her before you do it. Think of it as a 'life' lesson, after all she's not a child to be protected from such realities any more.

[Barman]

I think you have to tell her before you do it. Think of it as a 'life' lesson, after all she's not a child to be protected from such realities any more.

Make her do it like... 

[GROWLER]

Why couldn't it have been a dog ey, why?

I'd love a dog, bounding alongside me up 'me ill'. Great company, and always look pleased to see you.
I was talking to an elderly arthritic sheepdog today about this very topic.
The owner was most sympathetic when she heard me emptying me heart out to it.

It's the picking up of dog shit, dog hairs all over me car, dog slobber on the windows, dog pong they leave behind everywhere, dog kennel fees when you go away, leaving it in the house alone during the day and if we all go out for an evening, and then of course the ultimate of anguish, because they do actually become part of the family, the absolute trauma you have to go through when they snuff it. 

I'm confused and unhappy that it probably isn't going to happen.

[Nick]

What did the dog advise?

[Snoopy]

You are better off on your own.... No cats, dogs, wives, children... they only bring grief.

[Nick]

He could get himself a guinea pig. He could eat it in an emergency, like

[GROWLER]

He could get himself a guinea pig. He could eat it in an emergency, like

Apparently, we've got our name down for a mini hedgehog when they're old enough.....so the Mini Moose tells me.

Yea, very nice,verycute, but can't actually see me attaching a lead to one and taking it for a yomp up 'me 'ill' though, can you? 

The rat is currently clawing away at the front door making the most horrendous noise, the sort of noise they make when they're just about to have a punch up with another rat.
It's been fed outside and wulfed the lot, so it's not ill.

[Nick]

WTF is a mini hedgehog?

[GROWLER]

WTF is a mini hedgehog?

A small hedgehog you durk.

[Nick]

Is it housetrained? 

[GROWLER]

Is it housetrained? 

How tf do I know ey, how? I know nowt. I exist purely for 'the ride' seemingly.