Thank you both, the axe may well come in handy Miss D, a botched circumcision before caponisation I like it.
A nightmare indeed Miss D. I know that it could have been worse she could be dead, she isn't and she is a fighter. Her father bless him, who lives an hour from her was too busy to go and be with her. He sent his wife instead, who first had to attend a carol service and collect her son from school. Had I known that this was going to happen we would have left here hours ago. I really do think that right now I could chop his bollicks off right now.
His wife is a good woman if you like a Scout Mistress who resembles a 19st Miranda Hart. See below.
Her heart is in the right place but this is the woman who would hide my daughters bras when they visited so that she could go and buy them 'sensible' ones and insisted in dressing them in Boden clothes. She also counselled the girls to save their virginity for their husband. This is the woman who's 9 year old son is still wetting the bed and is so shy that he will not say hello to Mr C and I. Well. OK maybe that bit is understandable.