The all new "Where are you today?" thread

[GROWLER]

Oh Growler, come on...we all know its jackanory...just play along with him

OK. Nick, you are a silly billy aren't you? 














Give me strength.

[Pirate]

Next thing you know, he'll take the cat hostage until she gets out, so he can move back in permanantly.

Can you imagine it?

Cherie, move out, or the cat gets it!  

[Barman]

How much can a new cat (and carpet cleaning throughout) cost anyway...? 

[Nick]

I cannot and DO NOT believe that YOU, the bloody OWNER of the property, does not have a spare key for it.
If it IS true however, you take almost incomprehensible negligence and total utter utter utter unbelievable gross stupidity to new heights, previously thought of as being too high to be attainable.

It is not my flat. I was staying at her place 

[Barman]

I cannot and DO NOT believe that YOU, the bloody OWNER of the property, does not have a spare key for it.
If it IS true however, you take almost incomprehensible negligence and total utter utter utter unbelievable gross stupidity to new heights, previously thought of as being too high to be attainable.

It is not my flat. I was staying at her place 

But why oh why did you post the keys before knowing she was on her wasy back? 

[Nick]

She was on the way back. She broke down. In Calais. Like 

[GROWLER]

I cannot and DO NOT believe that YOU, the bloody OWNER of the property, does not have a spare key for it.
If it IS true however, you take almost incomprehensible negligence and total utter utter utter unbelievable gross stupidity to new heights, previously thought of as being too high to be attainable.

It is not my flat. I was staying at her place 

Well WHO'S ferkin' flat is it then?
I thought...what you said to me like...was that it was YOUR flat with a tenant in it like.

Wish you'd make yer piggin' mind up you donkey brained plank....no disrespect to donkeys brains intended like. 

[Nick]

SHe is an ex-tenant of mine with her OWN flat in Islington with a Bertie in it.


I am surrounded by idiots 

[GROWLER]

I am surrounded by idiots 

Starting with yourself like.

Oh I, and errrrr, how come you've stayed 'in touch' with her then ey? How come? Go on, explain that little nugget of info away then....if you can covincingly like ey.

[Nick]

 

[GROWLER]

Well how come she pissed off to France as soon as you arrived then ey?

[Nick]

 

[Barman]

Well how come she pissed off to France as soon as you arrived then ey?

 

[Nick]

 

[Barman]

She was on the way back. She broke down. In Calais. Like 

But you should ha- Oh why do I bother...?