Author Topic: The all new "Where are you today?" thread  (Read 3491744 times)

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Offline Miss Demeanour

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Re: The all new "Where are you today?" thread
« Reply #4020 on: September 27, 2010, 05:24:56 PM »
I wish I understood men  noooo:
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Offline tel

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Re: The all new "Where are you today?" thread
« Reply #4021 on: September 27, 2010, 05:27:37 PM »
I wish I understood men  noooo:

We are easily pleased.  razz:

     RTFM

Offline Nick

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Re: The all new "Where are you today?" thread
« Reply #4022 on: September 28, 2010, 07:27:40 AM »
Time for a haircut with busty Linda  eyes:
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Offline Barman

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Re: The all new "Where are you today?" thread
« Reply #4023 on: September 28, 2010, 07:42:10 AM »
I am painting Mini stuff...
Pro Skub  Thumbs:

Offline Snoopy

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Re: The all new "Where are you today?" thread
« Reply #4024 on: September 28, 2010, 07:43:37 AM »
Today SWWLTBO starts with a new employer.

She will be in and out of here all day as she has agreed to run a course from 09.30 to 11.30, another from 13.30 to 15.30 and another from 18.30 to 20.30  Banghead

She will still be teaching for her "old" employer on Mondays and Thursdays.

I can foresee major problems with HMC & R and there are no prizes for guessing who will be left to sort out her tax situation.  evil:
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Offline Miss Demeanour

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Re: The all new "Where are you today?" thread
« Reply #4025 on: September 28, 2010, 07:45:06 AM »
Today I am mainly feeling sorry for myself
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Offline Nick

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Re: The all new "Where are you today?" thread
« Reply #4026 on: September 28, 2010, 07:45:34 AM »
Today SWWLTBO starts with a new employer.

She will be in and out of here all day as she has agreed to run a course from 09.30 to 11.30, another from 13.30 to 15.30 and another from 18.30 to 20.30  Banghead

She will still be teaching for her "old" employer on Mondays and Thursdays.

I can foresee major problems with HMC & R and there are no prizes for guessing who will be left to sort out her tax situation.  evil:

Isn't she on PAYE?
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Offline Nick

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Re: The all new "Where are you today?" thread
« Reply #4027 on: September 28, 2010, 07:46:22 AM »
Today I am mainly feeling sorry for myself

Pop down the pet shop and get yerself a scratching post  angel1
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Offline GROWLER

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Re: The all new "Where are you today?" thread
« Reply #4028 on: September 28, 2010, 07:53:55 AM »
VAT return completion this morning...hopefully, lack of disturbance, interuptions, screaming's of  "i ive lost my wallet", and setting of back room carpets and kitchen lino type stuff on fire, quickly followed by lobbing buckets of water at the flames permitting that is. ::)
Oh the fuckin' joys of family bloody rancid life. surrender:

Offline Nick

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Re: The all new "Where are you today?" thread
« Reply #4029 on: September 28, 2010, 07:56:15 AM »
 Popcorn:
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Offline Snoopy

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Re: The all new "Where are you today?" thread
« Reply #4030 on: September 28, 2010, 07:58:11 AM »
Today SWWLTBO starts with a new employer.

She will be in and out of here all day as she has agreed to run a course from 09.30 to 11.30, another from 13.30 to 15.30 and another from 18.30 to 20.30  Banghead

She will still be teaching for her "old" employer on Mondays and Thursdays.

I can foresee major problems with HMC & R and there are no prizes for guessing who will be left to sort out her tax situation.  evil:
Isn't she on PAYE?

Yes but with two employers only one can apply her "allowances" whilst the other must deduct at full rates and also deduct a second lot of NI contributions. Thus at tax year end someone has to complete a number of forms and collate a lot of pay advice slips etc to claim back overpayments caused by the system. That is what has caused the almighty cock up that has recently come to light at the Revenue and there is little sign that they are anywhere near resolving it for the past years let alone putting in place a system to prevent a future occurrence.
The major issue is that she is employed on "sessional" contracts and they are not something that the HMC&R are capable of understanding despite half the H.E. Tutors in the UK being on such contracts of employment.

I have had a number of "conversations" with them and the Dept of Work and Pensions on the subject.  "But surely she has a contract .... why does she not get paid during the college vacations? etc  etc" cussing:

For those who don't know a "Sessional" contract lasts for the duration of the course and pays her for "contact hours" only. Thus she now has not one but 6 sessional contracts running with two different institutions. It is a way that Universities and Colleges of Further and Higher Education save money. Rather like the way M&S used to only employ their floor staff on part-time temporary contracts no matter what hours they worked as it avoided various legal necessities like paying holiday, sick and redundancy pay. The Gov't stopped that some 20 years ago but left it running where they have to pick up the bills.
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Offline GROWLER

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Re: The all new "Where are you today?" thread
« Reply #4031 on: September 28, 2010, 08:02:35 AM »
Popcorn:

Don't ask.
Mrs G 'experimenting' with some new 'treatment technique' for some random alternative medicine exhibition this coming weekend.
I'd rather just quietly die tbqath.

Oh, nearly did actually. ::)

Ancient but most excellent back room carpet is now goosed, and I am NOT happy...at all. noooo:
« Last Edit: September 28, 2010, 08:04:13 AM by GROWLER »

Offline Nick

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Re: The all new "Where are you today?" thread
« Reply #4032 on: September 28, 2010, 08:04:07 AM »
Popcorn:

Don't ask.
Mrs G 'experimenting' with some new 'treatment technique' for some random alternative medicine exhibition this coming weekend.
I'd rather just quietly die tbqath.

Oh, nearly did actually. ::)

and with this she set fire to the house?
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Offline Snoopy

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Re: The all new "Where are you today?" thread
« Reply #4033 on: September 28, 2010, 08:06:14 AM »
PS ~ Yes I know that she could be self employed and avoid this nonsense BUT Universities and Colleges will seldom employ tutors on a self employed basis.

I am investigating self assessment but it was a bloody nightmare when I retired to stop the b@st@rds chasing me and assuming that I was still earning. They, like the Dept of W&P and the local authority always want you to prove a negative "Can you prove you are not working?" which is nigh on impossible. My reply was always "Can you prove I am?" but they just do not accept that.

Just like the VAT people who came after me with estimated bills for years after I sold the pub ~ on the grounds that it was "still trading". It was indeed still trading and still is but even though my accountant and solicitors both sent proof that I had sold the business and the new owner was paying his VAT they still kept on for almost 7 years.
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Offline GROWLER

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Re: The all new "Where are you today?" thread
« Reply #4034 on: September 28, 2010, 08:14:19 AM »
Popcorn:

Don't ask.
Mrs G 'experimenting' with some new 'treatment technique' for some random alternative medicine exhibition this coming weekend.
I'd rather just quietly die tbqath.

Oh, nearly did actually. ::)

and with this she set fire to the house?

No, not quite.
Messing around experimenting with surgical spirit, some special random glass bottley type things, cotton wool and matches.
She set the floors in two seperate rooms on fire over a period of 4 hours. First time I wasn't here, 2nd time all I heard was a screaming and then a humongous woooosh.

She actually IS insane, and I want out....if only I could afford it. cry: