The all new "Where are you today?" thread

[Nick]

ll says go to roof and fix issrt

[Just One More]

I WANT SNOW!!!!!! 

It never snows far enough down in Cornwall. Granted Bodmin can only be improved by being totally covered (concrete would do a better job mind  ) but I want snow where I am. 

Be careful what you wish for GM, hot off the press...

Early Warning of Heavy Snow from 12:00 Tuesday, 12th January to 06:00 Wednesday, 13th January

There is a high risk of a severe weather event affecting parts of southwest England and South Wales.
A band of heavy snow will move slowly northeast during Tuesday afternoon and the first part of
Wednesday before dying out. Accumulations of 5 to 10cm are expected widely, with 10 to 20cm possible
locally, and a low risk of up to 30cm over higher ground. The strengthening southeasterly wind is also
likely to lead to drifting of snow

The map shows everything West of a line from Bournemouth up to Oswestry and then down across to Aberystwyth

[The Moan Ranger]

On a train going to Swindon. Major rant coming soon.

[Barman]

On a train going to Swindon. Major rant coming soon.

[The Moan Ranger]

Saving grace is the Tribute Ale in the buffett car.

[Barman]

Saving grace is the Tribute Ale in the buffett car.

Do you want to hear about my new bike like...? 

[tel]

Oh dear.

[Barman]

Oh dear.

What...? 

[tel]

TMR+public transport+Swinetown=

[The Moan Ranger]

PM me - don't bore everyone else with gushing praise of another hairdryer.

Why the fuck when you ask for a ticket to get to Swindon does the USELESS FUCKWIT sell you one that doesn't work when you get to Paddington. "Oh no sir, you'll have to pay an excess charge as your ticket is only valid for one-legged lesbian Kosovans travelling on the day that Elvis comes back from the moon." Utter, utter shower of shitrags.

Fat, gossipy woman at Paddington ticket orifice announces I have to pay a tenner excess and I announce that she can go and arse-fuck herself as I shouldn't have to pay for the error of the brainless tattoed gimp that sold me the ticket when he knew I was gonna "miss" the off-peak bit by about 15 minutes. "You'll have to take it up with them" was the worst response she could have made and my "Fucking doughnuts like you should be on the Sunshine Variety Bus" led to the intervention of a PCSO who told me I could be arrested for threatening behaviour. He was told to call for a real policeperson if he wanted to and that his uniform made no difference, he had no powers over me - his impotence is risible.

Real plod then turned up. Sensing I wasn't helping matters, I calmed down, explained all and said nice plod "advised" me just to pay the excess, STFU and get on the train.

The monkey in the station I bought the ticket from is gonna have his head ripped-off and I shall delight in shitting down his tattoes neck.

[Snoopy]

Embarrassingly I can remember when ?10 would have bought return tickets LONDON - SWINDON for several adults, a dog and a couple of bicycles.

[The Moan Ranger]

YOU'RE NOT FUCKING HELPING, SNOOPS!

[Barman]

PM me - don't bore everyone else with gushing praise of another hairdryer.

Why the fuck when you ask for a ticket to get to Swindon does the USELESS FUCKWIT sell you one that doesn't work when you get to Paddington. "Oh no sir, you'll have to pay an excess charge as your ticket is only valid for one-legged lesbian Kosovans travelling on the day that Elvis comes back from the moon." Utter, utter shower of shitrags.

Fat, gossipy woman at Paddington ticket orifice announces I have to pay a tenner excess and I announce that she can go and arse-fuck herself as I shouldn't have to pay for the error of the brainless tattoed gimp that sold me the ticket when he knew I was gonna "miss" the off-peak bit by about 15 minutes. "You'll have to take it up with them" was the worst response she could have made and my "Fucking doughnuts like you should be on the Sunshine Variety Bus" led to the intervention of a PCSO who told me I could be arrested for threatening behaviour. He was told to call for a real policeperson if he wanted to and that his uniform made no difference, he had no powers over me - his impotence is risible.

Real plod then turned up. Sensing I wasn't helping matters, I calmed down, explained all and said nice plod "advised" me just to pay the excess, STFU and get on the train.

The monkey in the station I bought the ticket from is gonna have his head ripped-off and I shall delight in shitting down his tattoes neck.

Anyhoo.... 

It is a TTR 230.... 

[Snoopy]

YOU'RE NOT FUCKING HELPING, SNOOPS!

Sorry

[The Moan Ranger]

And if Mrs TMRBB isn't outside Swine Town station when I get off (very soon) she too will get a tongue lashing!